Kate Hudson Is Getting Married

April 27, 2011 / Posted by:

On Today this morning, Kate Hudson was on to promote her new movie Something Borrowed From The Plot Lines Of All Her Other Stupid Ass Rom-Coms and she casually let the engagement news drop from her hitchin’ finger. While Matt Lauer’s eyes danced across Kate’s knocked up chichis, he noticed that one of her erect nipples was oddly square-shaped and shining like a diamond. And then he realized it wasn’t a nipple waiting to squirt leche, it was an engagement ring from her boyfriend Matt Bellamy of Muse! Kate slyly said she’s been waiting for a ho to point it out. Uh huh.

“This is new! I’m engaged! Thank you! It just happened a week ago. I’m so glad you noticed. I haven’t really announced it and I kind of felt like the announcing thing felt so silly. You know what I mean? I’ve just been waiting for somebody to notice.”

Kate already said that being pregnant is not unlike being seven shades of stoned as fuck, so I wonder what she’ll say being engaged is like? Is like the feeling you get (SO I’VE SEEN IN MOVIES) when you’ve snorted the last line of coke and you start to roll through a cloud of euphoria, but then a voice in the back of your head reminds you that in a short amount of time you’ll be back on planet earth and the only thing you’ll have to show for it is bad breath? But you’ll be married to that bad breath and have to refrain from slapping it in the head when it sleep farts on your leg in the middle of the night. Is it like that? I’m sure Kate will let us know!

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