Alex Pettyfer Is Such A Gentleman

April 27, 2011 / Posted by:

When going down a dude, haven’t you wished that he would ejaculate a thank you card (preferably one that looks like this) or even hum out the melody to Dido’s “Thank You.” Just once, wouldn’t you like to suck a dick with some manners?! Well, Alex Pettyfer, star of Beastly and I Am Number Four, has heard your cries for some gentlemanly behavior and that’s why he got “thank you” tattooed above his peen area. Alex jokes (I’m guessing) to VMAN (via E! News) that he got the Miss Manners approved tattoo just in case he forgets to say it afterward. Doesn’t that just make you want to get “oh, you’re very welcome” tattooed on your tongue? And “you forgot to give me a kiss goodbye” tattooed on your ass lips? Words of polite romance don’t mean a thing unless they’re in black ink.

Alex, who already has a reputation for being a certified bastard prick, went on tell VMAN about how he only moved to L.A. from England for his career and he can’t wait to take his polite crotch tattoo out of there.

“L.A. is growing on me a little bit but it’s still a shit hole. I think it’s this insidious pool where nearly everyone lives in fear. Geographically it’s fantastic, but socially it’s disgusting. I wish they’d run all the cunts out.

I wish I had some interesting stories about living in L.A., but mostly I just do my work and then go home.

Being an actor is like being in prison. You go, you serve your time, you try and replicate Johnny Depp’s career and then you move to Paris.”

Alex’s “run all the cunts out” of L.A. comment reminded me of one of my favorite childhood stories. You know, the one about the Pied Piper who lured all the cunts (or was it rats, or children?) out of that German village? Yeah, that one. I bet if the Piped Piper did the same thing in L.A., Alex would be the first cunt following him past the city limits.

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