Will.i.am Joins The Baby Wipes Movement
We already know that Terrence Howard won't go near a vagina unless it smells like a freshly cleaned baby's asshole. Now Will.i.am of the Let Me Give You a Black Eye Please is standing next to Terry Howard as a vocal member of the Baby Wipes Movement. Because Will.i.am is a period smuggler, he thinks it's okay for him to talk about the cleanliness of a woman's nether regions. But he goes even further by telling Elle that there are a million uses for baby wipes and every women should keep them next to her sink. After basically saying that only whores keep condoms in their houses, Will.i.cant gave his baby wipe tips to Elle:
ELLE: If you walked into a woman’s house, what one item would convince you that you weren’t compatible?W: If she had condoms in her house, that would just fuckin’ throw me off. That’s just tacky.
ELLE: Well, okay, I could see if she had a candy bowl full of them on the coffee table. But if she’s got a few in a drawer, wouldn’t that simply suggest she’s health-conscious?
W: I just think, like, if you’re into someone and you guys get to that level, then that’s something you should converse about together and say, “Hey, maybe we should get some.” Another pet peeve is wet sinks.
ELLE: Wet sinks?
W: Yeah, like a wet sink. You don’t wipe the sink after you use it? Dry it off! And if she’s got only dry toilet paper and no baby wipes next to the toilet. You ain’t got no baby wipes?
ELLE: I’ve heard about this particular deal breaker before. Why is that a big deal to you?
W: Here’s proof on why people should have baby wipes. Get some chocolate, wipe it on a wooden floor, and then try to get it up with some dry towels. You’re going to get chocolate in the cracks. That’s why you gotta get them baby wipes.
Yes, because a woman keeping a life-saving device (that will protect her from getting knocked up with dumbasses like Will.i.am) in her house is tacky. But using a baby wipe to clean your floor isn't tacky at all. Somebody take a ball point pen and press it on this factory defected C-3PO's reset button, because he's talking nuts.
They're called BABY wipes for a reason. They're for BABIES! If they were called pussy & floor wipes, we wouldn't be having this discussion! Would you ever use a pussy & floor wipe to clean a baby's ass? Actually, Will.i.cant would.
(Thanks Michele)
• 
We're supposed to believe that this dude has sex with women? LOL.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
I'm concerned about his condom issues. When I was single I always had condoms. Ummmm, what kinda chick doesn't in this day and age?? Yeah, she's a virgin or celibate. That's few and far between. And I guarantee there are no virgin star fuckers out there.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Just turn up the shower massage and blast the shit crumbs off your balloonknot, as for post-shower shit...face it, your fuckin' day is ruined, just go back to bed!
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Tue, 04/12/2011 - 8:30am.
OMG RAUL, youre becoming another "schlong" with your sweet sexy words... http://thechive.com/2011/04/21/daily-afternoon-randomness-48-photos-10/2...
Submitted by Provolone on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:33am.
*inspects everyones cinnamon ring*
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Pls. be mindful of the pulsating bunch o' grapes *stuffs them back up into rectal cavity using index finger... no baby wipes*
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I am not here to fight. I am here to make love.
Oh so a woman who cares enough to protect herself against STDs by having condoms is tacky?!?! What a dumb ass.
I wonder if he uses baby wipes when he pisses and shyts or does he just shake it off and hope for the best.
Just because a grown woman doesn't display BABY WIPES doesn't mean she can't clean her azz properly. And if there is such a large number of smelly women walking around - why hasn't some company jumped on the band wagon and started producing adult wipes.
Some folks should really let us speculate on their intelligence level instead of making asinine statements like this which remove all doubt.
I think this is just his way of admitting he's on the dl.
@ Snowy, that's what they call them in the kids' school - "bumpers"!
I'm sure you have a fine one!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:36am.
How do you use soap and water when you're done having a #2 (I'm too grand to say it any other way). Do you mean with a wash cloth and soap and
water?
Grab a wad of TP.
Give it a shot of hand soap.
Lightly run under hot water.
Wipe.
Ok, but if he's going to a woman's apartment where the fuck is he looking that he finds condoms? If she's just kinda casually leaving a couple on the coffee table then I'd probably have to agree with him - that's kinda tacky.
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
So wait, is the baby wipes talk code for being an undercover brother?
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Pussy and floor wipes: funniest shit ever.
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Well-behaved women rarely make history
I would think the arguments over who gave who crabs or how much the monthly child support check should be is tackier. Then again, I don't reside on planet fuckwit, sooo...
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:35am.
Submitted by undinespragg on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:32am.
HEY MY TOOLSHED SMELLS LIKE A DEWY MEADOW
SCRATCH & SNIFF
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Cottonelle Fresh Wipes in the IV household. THEY ARE NOT BABY WIPES. These are flushable. JESUS CHRIST! Get the terminology right, Sam. I. Am.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:35am.
Submitted by undinespragg on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:32am.
I fucking hate it when guys talk about women's hygiene, in particular about the smell of vag. Peens smell to if you don't wash them. Somehow guys get a pass on having sweaty, stinking balls, tho. And yes, I've had my face down in both, so I'm a good judge. And a slut.
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You are awesome! I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat. I'm married to a big guy, he NEVER smells of BO, or ass... My mom, who is sometimes a bitch (learn from the best) say, "Fat people usually smell, I'VE NEVER smelled, Mike, not in 15 years!" I thought, "yeah lady, you've never tried to surprise the mother fucker by going down on him after he takes his after-work-dump!"
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SFRB - thanks, I just ate! Now my digestion is all bothered! Gross description! Moist wipes for all!
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Dark-sided!
Anything that doesn't breakdown in water really shouldn't be flushed down your toilet, even if it says "flushable" on the label. It's okay once in a while, but if done continually, it can catch on something in the plumbing and cause a dam that will eventually back up your pipes.
Things labeled "flushable" like Cottonelle and toddler wipes are really the same thing as baby wipes just a smaller size so they flow through the pipes somewhat easier and have less of a chance of getting stuck.
Really, why do I know this??
LMAO Raulio! Yes, that was it
Ha ha IF!!!
Everyone has the right to tend to their own bumpers the way they see fit!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
It's eco-friendly yo!:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
Bidets are a usual feature in all houses over here. Everybody is taught to use them from an early age. It kind of confuses me going abroad and not seeing a bidet in the hotel bathroom xD the fact that there are cultures that do not use it is kind of baffling to me still.
As for Will.i.am, yeah, pass. I would not hit it with all the baby wipes in the world.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:33am.
right snowy? and they are flushable!
I love the Charmin Freshmates- not too wet, smell great. Great for after sex clean up too.
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Please, somebody, make THIS into a commercial.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
If this guy is really that hardcore he needs to get a bidet. I can't even with the condom issue. Dumbass.
I know I have overshared this before, but Mowgli has an elaborate ass cleaning ritual that puts will i am to shame!!!
It's like he's doing his abolations in there!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
Geez... not the baby wipe chat room again.
*leaving skid marks on my way out *
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
Submitted by motherslittlehelper on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:30am.
Yeah, the issue with condoms is lame. WTF has a problem with safe sex?
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It's safe. That's what. He wants to make a date and go out with the lady to buy some. Very romantic.
What a freakish thing for him and the other guy to complain about publicly. I take it they both eat ass.
Having said that, it's pretty true. If we're out of baby wipes I have to wipe my 5 year-old's bum after...you know. So she doesn't wind up with skidmarks. It's so uncivilized.
Agree, baby wipes is a catch-all name for moist wipes in general - and they don't smell like "baby" - they are often used on babies so it's just a reminder of a baby.
How do you use soap and water when you're done having a #2 (I'm too grand to say it any other way). Do you mean with a wash cloth and soap and water? No thanks, I'll stick with a disposable wipe. And they don't make your butt soaking wet, they simply clean and dry in seconds.
I'm sorry for my own little region down there, I'd never just use loo roll and leave it at that. I believe in a wipe and yeah - scented is fine too. I like me some freshness.
Everyone has the right to tend to their own bumpers the way they see fit!
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:26am.
What was I watching the other day when they defined "An Alaskan Paintjob" ? When a stripper gives you a lap dance and leaves a skid mark
TMZ. I submitted it to the Urban Dictionary but haven't heard back. OT: Fuck Will I Ain't !
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Tue, 04/12/2011 - 8:30am.
OMG RAUL, youre becoming another "schlong" with your sweet sexy words... http://thechive.com/2011/04/21/daily-afternoon-randomness-48-photos-10/2...
Another reason why youngsters shouldn't look to performers as role models. He's basically telling young women (Elle's readership) that they'll look like whores to men if they take responsibility for their own sexual health. What an ignoramus?
On the other hand, when has he ever seen or reported to be dating any woman? Hm, me thinks that this might actually be a non-issue with him.
Submitted by undinespragg on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:32am.
I fucking hate it when guys talk about women's hygiene, in particular about the smell of vag. Peens smell to if you don't wash them. Somehow guys get a pass on having sweaty, stinking balls, tho. And yes, I've had my face down in both, so I'm a good judge. And a slut.
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You are awesome! I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat. I'm married to a big guy, he NEVER smells of BO, or ass... My mom, who is sometimes a bitch (learn from the best) say, "Fat people usually smell, I'VE NEVER smelled, Mike, not in 15 years!" I thought, "yeah lady, you've never tried to surprise the mother fucker by going down on him after he takes his after-work-dump!"
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Submitted by Fraggle: I vary between 665 and 667, depending on hormones.
He's not concerned about STDs or AIDs, just clean asses--while his probably stinks. You can tell he's one of those Do As I Say, Not As I Do people. And what is wearing? Idiot.
Well I've heard that men hate it if you use baby wipes down there.
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:32am.
Men like Terrence and Will are not worth paying attention to. These are men who do not eat the pussy, baby wiped or not.
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Hello? If you ain't going downtown, you can't stick around, clown!
They're afraid of the pussy!! LMAO!!
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Submitted by Cowjam on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:27am.
I will go out on a limb and agree with him and Terrence. I have been using a bidet since I met my husband 20 years ago. I can't imagine life without one. Honestly, on a hot day, I can smell the traces on other people's genitals.
*ducks from wads of thrown TP*
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For serious...how do those work exactly? I honestly don't know & all I can imagine is a huge mess from the water pressure.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
get a bidet asshole & drown in it
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
*inspects everyones cinnamon ring*
says the same asshole who will come in and piss on your toilet seat.
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
True Fact - baby wipes are not flushable.
The Scott brands wet wipes ARE flushable.
Get your brands straight Will.
right snowy? and they are flushable!
I love the Charmin Freshmates- not too wet, smell great. Great for after sex clean up too.
**********************************************
You know what you want
And that makes you just like me
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:31am.
ok they aren't really BABY WIPES, you can buy moist GROWN UP wipes
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Then should call them that!;p
You could have: Slut Wipes, Virgin Wipes, Granny Wipes, Man Wipes....lol! Somebody totally needs to give me a marketing job:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
Men like Terrence and Will are not worth paying attention to. These are men who do not eat the pussy, baby wiped or not.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
I <3 these tags. They are so accurate. I fucking hate it when guys talk about women's hygiene, in particular about the smell of vag. Peens smell to if you don't wash them. Somehow guys get a pass on having sweaty, stinking balls, tho.
And yes, I've had my face down in both, so I'm a good judge. And a slut.
Errrrrrr... I understand the importance of making sure you're asshole is clean, but damn. THIS ASSHOLE! UGH!
What the hell do you guys have against soap and water?!?!? LOL!
@Provy: Ditto that. Any kinda CD, actually. CDs are so archaic! But I was noticing he din't say anything about books or movies or art or food even....all he can think about when he enters a woman's home is her genitals? Klassy.
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
ok they aren't really BABY WIPES, you can buy moist GROWN UP wipes from all the tp brands now a days! LOL
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
Yeah, the issue with condoms is lame. WTF has a problem with safe sex?
This is some weird shit here.....why not just get some therapy for your OCD....there's no honor in attempting to lay down your weird compulsions like its the every-woman's way, dude. Celebrities received some kind of memo instructing them to OVERSHARE. But, celebrities are vapid mofos anyway, so at least we can get a few lafz at their expense. Will.i.am. is a freak....and not in a good way.
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
I am Team Baby Wipes but this fool is so annoying, except for punching out Pigez, that is. But, I wonder, why are these guys always talking about the WOMAN'S asshole? You know they want their ho's to like their dirty poop shoots for hours.
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
Provy:
Hahahahahahaaa!
Imma just shake my head.
His ass is so hairy that a Costco-sized tub o' grease hand-cleaner wipes couldn't help that shit smell fresh.
Baby wipes smell like baby ass. Who wants to go around smelling like a wet diaper? Psshh. Foo.
<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>
I am not here to fight. I am here to make love.