Lindsay Lohan Gets A Standing Ovation On The Tonight Show
Kristen Chenoweth was bumped from staring into the erect chin of Jay Leno last night when Lindsay Lohan decided at the last minute that she wanted to sit down with him to promote her next court appearance and her upcoming cameo in the city morgue. It's one thing that the producers put Kristen Chenoweth on the curb when she was there to actually promote a project she worked on. But a second illegal act was committed when the entire Tonight Show audience stood up and clapped for LiLo! I know that Jay's fans love a good thief since he successfully snatched The Tonight Show from Conan O'Brien, but DAMN! Never has the phrase "HO SIT DOWN" been more fitting.
Were they standing to leave? Did White Oprah fill the audience with members from her EFAC (Enablers For A Check) group? Did the interns take the batteries out of all the carbon monoxide detectors, because the batteries that operate Jay's jaw were running low and they didn't have to time to run out to the store? This clueless crackie is pretty much on her way to jail and they all stand up like she's some kind of hero?! Charlie Sheen, come get your audience back!
You know, I'm going to assume the entire audience was suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning which affected their better judgement, because who leaves their purse unattended on the floor below when a Lohan is in their midst?
Radar says that in LiLo's pre-taped interview with Jay, which airs tonight, she confirmed her role in that Gotti movie and talked about how she was "shocked" and felt "numb" after the judge ordered her to 120 days in jail for violating her probation. LiLo continued to prove that words are cheaper than the weave on White Oprah's head by saying: “I think that when, you know, being young and being in the position I was in, you don’t really take the time to appreciate what you have and it’s all kind of a whirlwind, and people make decisions for you. But I’m not a kid anymore -- I’m 24, I’ve made a lot of mistakes and I recognize that. I’m in the clear now, and as long as I stay focused, I can achieve what I want to achieve.”
IN THE CLEAR?! A misdemeanor theft case hanging over her head and a probation violation on her ass counts as being "in the clear"? LiLo's current state is about as clear as the water in a crack house toilet. Jay Leno really ain't shit for not double slapping LiLo in the face with his chin (he wouldn't even have to lean over to do it) after she said that. And Jay Leno really REALLY ain't shit for not vacating the studio, locking LiLo in there and bringing in an army of abuelitas who would really clear her head with truth talk, God fearing side-eyes and the threat of a chankla slap.
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I love her hair and she will always be the girl from parent trap to me. I hope jerseylicious gets her act together and does a fun romantic comedy. Id watch. Workitgurl.
You watch her turn her life around and grab that OSCAR. She has a long way to go and I cant wait for her acceptance speech !
Fuckin Jay works an hour a day. How is that harder than Stern? If he does one show a week that is 4 hours! And if that dude was listening to Stern this morning they already talked about this crap.
"Muthafucka: I'm on probation." That is what she should have told Ol' Chinny. I would pay to watch that shet.
She looks great for 55!! I have NO sympathy.
Ha ha, reality eludes her.
How incredibly disgusting to go on tv and talk about your crimes and reprehensible behavior and be so completely arrogant as to believe that any intelligent person would give a fuck.
I hate Leno. Always have. The man just isn't funny and his humor lacks any intelligence. Perfect for Middle America.
Check out the interview he did with Ellen Page where he told her, "We should pee together." One of the most awkward moments on a show filled with awkward moments and uncomfortable laughter.
Listen sweetheart,if you wanna do drugs,boosze & carry on like a porkchop do it with a bit of style like I do every so often..I keep it private..stay off the roads...steer clear of public places & lend your bender an air of dignity in the privacy of your own home or private venue.
That way you'll never end up in a courthouse,clit klink or vomited all over every tabloid newspaper
& magazine in the world.Plainly fame has taught you nothing..but you did become a real life...
PLASTIC...
You keep it up darls!
Tevness
Is she wearing a parachute jumpsuit made out of a parachute? Amazing.
I think they handed out Carvel ice cream discount cards as an "incentive". What a ho.
Unreliable, uninsurable and now over-exposed.
Well done, you stupid bitch, that's the last nail in the career coffin.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjp0EhQCFM0
She's such a stupid ass.
I suppose a new form of entertainment: She is her own reality show.
She's probably a year away from paying the rent by assisting in the sales process for some billionaire by 'doing' prospective customers.
Ella esta una perdedor...
She eats frosted mini-delusions for breakfast every morning.
Gah, who gives a shit? Let's all go have sex.
Did anyone watch Leno last night? I know, stupid question. But someone on TMZ says that last night Jay announced that LiHo would be his guest for Tuesday's show and there was complete silence except for 1 guy that whistled.
She got a standing ovation cause thats what the teleprompter said to give her.
She got a standing ovation cause thats what the teleprompter said to give her.
Say what you want about Jay Leno, but at least he's putting in more work than Howard Stern. Howie is uber-miserable, but he's got trillions in the bank, works only 4 days a week, and takes more vacations. Now what do you think about Jay? Still, bumping Kristen Chenowith (one of my favorite squeaky-voiced actresses who somehow became irrelevant - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) for Lindsay Lohan is an epic failure.
All I know is I can't wait for Stern to talk about this and bitch about Jay Leno stealing bits for the trillionth time (for the O&A fans: Hoo hoo, Jay ripped me off!) while not putting any effort into his show. He won't let guest Gilbert Gottfried sit in for the news for the second time in a row, but I'm sure we get to hear about the limo driver's swinging lifestyle, Robin Quivers' batshit crazy vacation, and Apple infomercials coming out the ass. And they won't have a comedian sit in. Get the hint.
Thing is, I don't care. I don't listen, since I got bigger fish to fry. Peace out, y'all!
Isn't this just a case of a few people in the crowd doing something silly/stupid, and people joining in, getting caught up in the moment?
I've been to events where people applaud, stand up, whatever, just because others are doing it.
There CAN'T be that many people in one place that really like Lilo.
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Submitted by Fraggle: I vary between 665 and 667, depending on hormones.
TMZ has LiLo saying that she is going to take responsibility for her actions and is ready to accept the consequences. Isn't this the exact same thing she says every time she screws up?
LINDSAY one-name got a standing ovation from a bunch of people who stood in line all day to get a seat at Leno's show? These braindead people would have given a rutabaga the same treatment since they're obviously starved for entertainment. Secretly these people hate LINDSAY for her ability to get away with pretty much anything, but they'll applaud her for free tickets to watch Mr. Lantern-jaw attempt making coherent conversation with Missy Adderall. No wonder I rarely watch late night TV, it really is a vast wasteland.
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
For a moment I thought that said, "standing ovulation."
Jay Leno has been dead to me for many years. Now I guess he's graduated to "undead". What a synthetic, spiritually bankrupt invertebrate he is. I hope he catches leprosy.
And that audience? Leprosy.
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Forever in debt to your priceless advice.
well, what do you want the jay leno people are fucking assholes and they have proved that time and time again.
The audience must have been all those toilet bats.
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:32am.
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LMAO.. I'm sorry, I've never heard of "comingback" and I didn't realize what you were doing!
You're always coherent when you write so I thought you were having a stroke or something, LOL..I'm like, what in the FUCK is she talking about, this doesn't even make sense! LOL
Anyway, good to know you're alright ...now I know what "comingback" is!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:25am.
ugh, Hasselback is DEFENDING Lindsay on The View!!!
Hasslecrack just says the opposite of whatever is logical or true so as to stir controversy so the show can still be considered interesting. she probably doesn't believe half the bullshit she says.
by the way Leno is a jerk.
Yet another reason to despise the Evil Chin!!! As another commenter said here, Kristin should go on Conan's show.
Wait a minute..... people still watch Leno???????????
I loved ComingBack. I'm still convinced it was mega-stoned Britney back when she was allowed to use a 'puter.
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
"I’m in the clear now, and as long as I stay focused, I can achieve what I want to achieve.”
other than pilfering a free corn dog from a street vendor that's not on his game... i can't see you "achieving" anything other than the scorn of the public, Lindsay... but... yeah... good luck with your "achievements"
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
When I get bored i try to imitate comingback, but nothing is as good as the original, trust me!! I used to sit at the computer with tears streaming down my face I was laughing so hard! It's a real shame we can't go back and find those comment threads!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:22am.
ditquoi, Paris is the definition of evil.
She is like the Medusa....I say cut off her head, and all the Reality Show attention whores will die too.
I'm really wondering what happened to her...the other hos she's spawned are still working the stroll. why not her? perhaps she's sacrificed enough animals to her gods and now she's achieved immortality or something...
Figures dipshit airhead Hasselcrack is defending this cunt.
They all need to DIAF.
Whamo: she is channeling comingback, a much missed poster from the past
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
LOL whamo!! I was speaking in "comingback" language! Comingback (or britscomingback) was a very famous dlister back in the day who would get on the Britney threads (back in the shaved head days) and go on an on about how we shouldn't be mean to Britney because she was staging a comeback, but it would write in this crazy mad lib style and randomly insert words and phrases like green bean cans and toilet bats and sock slots! It's almost like it didn't know English and wrote the comment into a bad online translator and then posted it here, lol!!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
This is another reason Jay Leno sucks....
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:15am.
WOW FIGURES WHEN PEOPLE JUDGE WITH THE COUNTY! SO MAD RIGHT NOW YOU KNOW WHEN LITTLE GIRLS HAVE FUN! NOW SEE WITH DEAD BODIES THE BACK TAX FOR COMMUNITY NOT JUST ALL FOR YOU! BLACKS! AND WHEN THE DRINK FLOW THE GREEN BEAN CANS MAKE A PIPE OK! IT HAPPENS WHEN TEENS ADVANTAGE THEY TAKE AND STILL CLAP ON YOUR FEET WOW! SO MAD RIGHT NOW!
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Stoney, you know we love you but am I missing something here....WTF was that?
LMAO!!!! did you just take a big hit from your bong and write this before you blew it out of your lungs?
ugh, Hasselback is DEFENDING Lindsay on The View!!!
i want to fucking kick her!!! Yes, in the face.
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You know what you want
And that makes you just like me
ditquoi, Paris is the definition of evil.
She is like the Medusa....I say cut off her head, and all the Reality Show attention whores will die too.
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You know what you want
And that makes you just like me
Call me when we have actual visual proof that these people stood up, unpaid, for this chick.
Wait, don't call me, I don't give a sh-t.
This girl is a loser.
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 10:08am.
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Bang on, well said!
By the way your "the red menace" name is perfect....LOL!
I hope you don't mind if I use that in the future, its too good to only be used in 1 post.
WOW FIGURES WHEN PEOPLE JUDGE WITH THE COUNTY! SO MAD RIGHT NOW YOU KNOW WHEN LITTLE GIRLS HAVE FUN! NOW SEE WITH DEAD BODIES THE BACK TAX FOR COMMUNITY NOT JUST ALL FOR YOU! BLACKS! AND WHEN THE DRINK FLOW THE GREEN BEAN CANS MAKE A PIPE OK! IT HAPPENS WHEN TEENS ADVANTAGE THEY TAKE AND STILL CLAP ON YOUR FEET WOW! SO MAD RIGHT NOW!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 11:02am.
Submitted by BBGemini on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 10:54am.
Submitted by HeddaHopper on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 10:10am.
[Paris] She breaks laws, but does no time.
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Because Wonky McValtrex hasn't gone to jail, and Lindsay has?
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um, Paris went to jail. For much longer than Lohan did.
still and all, I agree that Paris is evil.
she kept all those little pets as sacrifices to her gods.
didn't work though cuz she's irrelevant as all hell right now and none of those rich guys would be so stupid as to marry her.
Submitted by BBGemini on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 10:54am.
Submitted by HeddaHopper on Tue, 04/26/2011 - 10:10am.
[Paris] She breaks laws, but does no time.
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Because Wonky McValtrex hasn't gone to jail, and Lindsay has?
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um, Paris went to jail. For much longer than Lohan did.
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You know what you want
And that makes you just like me
WHAT??!!!
will O.J. get a standing ovation when he gets out of jail?
what the FUCK is wrong with people?
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You know what you want
And that makes you just like me
What happened? Did she fuck a scientologist?
I thought that was the only way to get "in the clear" AND on the Tonight Show in one breath.
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
How can such a phyiscally beautiful area like Hollywood be so spiritually barren? It's like one of those pretty reduced price holiday cakes you see in the supermarket. Cheap, pretty and, when you bite it, stale and rotten underneath.
Oh...and Lohan, Sheen, Kardashian, Hilton and Kobe Bryant are the idiot figureheads on top.
It was a Jay Leno audience. I don't think we need to ask why she got a standing ovation, since their taste is already in question.