Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 26, 2011 / Posted by:

The Facial Flex Woman! When you turn 30 like this Rita Rudner-like woman (Why doesn’t Trump want to see HER birth certificate?) parts of your body shift and sag, and you just can’t give head like a guppy the way you used to! Well, bring on the Facial Flex! Just pop in the Facial Flex, hit the Placido and flex out your O face until the tips of your mouth are kissing your ear lobes! You will not only look like a creature that only exists underneath David Lynch’s most bizarre nightmares (that’s a plus), but you’ll become an expert at sort of mumbling out words while an object is stretching your mouth out.

Think of all the time you’ll save! You can make all your daily calls (to your mom, to your dealer, to the Facial Flex customer service department to demand your money back) while you’ve got something in your mouth! This will change the lives of telemarketers who work as blow job hookers on the side.

Don’t believe me? Watch it in action. It’s obviously made of magic, because at the end of it she looks like she’s been stretching her mouth over a bottle of Svedka! An exercise product that leaves you drunk as all hell? Sign me up!

Do you really want to know about the Vagina Flex Kegel System she was using at the same time? I’ll save that for another nightmare.

via The Frisky (Thanks to everybody who sent this in!)

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