Open Post: Hosted By Carmen Carrera’s Gold Medal-Winning Tuck Game

April 25, 2011 / Posted by:

With a little help from fellow Drag Race beauties Raja and Manila Luzon, Carmen Carrera celebrated her birthday by nearly performing in her birthday suit (or as Carmen calls it, her “every day suit“) at Escuelita in NYC on Saturday night. The better version of Daisy Fuentes prowled the stage and moved her mouth lips to the music as her down low kibbles and bits lost all oxygen, turned blue and fell off out of the back. Being the consummate professional showgirl that she is, Carmen subtlety kicked it off stage and made a mental note to tuck a tiny oxygen tank up in there next time so her peen doesn’t pass out. No, seriously, I don’t expect a queen to divulge all her tuck game secrets, but does bitch have a trap door taint?! Even Barbie’s crotch isn’t as smooth as Carmen’s and she doesn’t have dick (I think)!

I’m not even going to try to solve the mystery of Carmen’s trompe l’oeil chocha, because I don’t even know where to begin. Instead, I’m going to use my energy to write to the International Olympic Committee and demand that they add tucking to their list of events!

P.S. – I guess Kate Middleton will have to find a new reception outfit now.

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