Open Post: Hosted By Carmen Carrera's Gold Medal-Winning Tuck Game
With a little help from fellow Drag Race beauties Raja and Manila Luzon, Carmen Carrera celebrated her birthday by nearly performing in her birthday suit (or as Carmen calls it, her "every day suit") at Escuelita in NYC on Saturday night. The better version of Daisy Fuentes prowled the stage and moved her mouth lips to the music as her down low kibbles and bits lost all oxygen, turned blue and fell off out of the back. Being the consummate professional showgirl that she is, Carmen subtlety kicked it off stage and made a mental note to tuck a tiny oxygen tank up in there next time so her peen doesn't pass out. No, seriously, I don't expect a queen to divulge all her tuck game secrets, but does bitch have a trap door taint?! Even Barbie's crotch isn't as smooth as Carmen's and she doesn't have dick (I think)!
I'm not even going to try to solve the mystery of Carmen's trompe l'oeil chocha, because I don't even know where to begin. Instead, I'm going to use my energy to write to the International Olympic Committee and demand that they add tucking to their list of events!
P.S. - I guess Kate Middleton will have to find a new reception outfit now.
• 
Once they got rid of the large girls, I knew Raja was going to win. And he/she is very masculine looking. Not my fave. And all that grade school, heathers/goobers nonsense. Fuck clicks (however it's spelled).
Still enjoyed it. Detective LaToya for judge.
Where are his balls??!!
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Everyone's probably asleep but I'm just saying that RuPaul called the winner all wrong this time around. Raja wasn't nearly as endearing or as positive as Alexis. Bam!! I demand a recount.
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
you know what maybe carmen carrera is really a woman or had a sex change operation.
That is the tuck of all tucks!
I's scared.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Heathers FTW!
double ass-cheek post!
Anyone play words with friends?
I have no idea when the wedding is on over here. Sooo want to watch it.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Kokos...last nite on dateline they interviewed the butcher from waity katy's home town that had gotten an invite & he was 'over the moon'!!!! Lololol.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
@ritzyroxie- Sorry, I had to leave for a little bit. Yes, there is even a countdown clock on the Chelsea Lately web page. {eye roll}
I know everyone has mentioned how annoying this "royal wedding" coverage is but my god.....every other channel has something on today and the wedding is on Friday. So far today I have seen an age progressed picture of what Diana hypothetically would have looked like today, saw an interview with a designer who has made a kate middleton knock off wedding dress ( EVEN THOUGH NOBODY KNOWS WHAT IT WILL LOOK LIKE) and had the option on multiple channels to see everything from Diana's wedding on repeat to hear an interview with the twice removed cousin of the friend who knew the flowergirl in Diana's wedding etc
Submitted by Slurpee on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 2:37pm.
fishsticks:
Campus police told him if he ever talks to me or tries to contact me again, they will arrest him. I've seen him a few more times on campus, usually when I'm walking to my office first thing in the morning and he's heading to the university library, where he spends his entire day and where he watches me if I happen to leave my building (from what campus police told me). I just keep my head down and if I need to go somewhere on campus, i do it in-between classes when I know there's people everywhere.
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OMG! The college didn't expel him?! My hubby (he's a prof) got stalked by a former student and they expelled her. She can't come within a 100 feet of the college.
Submitted by BBGemini on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 2:38pm.
When waiting too long at a fast food drive through I assume someone ordered the damn fish sandwich. They have to chisel it out of a block of ice in the back of a freezer or something. Speaking of fast greasy fish, Kid Rock once said he loved Pamela Anderson because she loves to get McFish sandwiches at McD's. If Goopy is Fishsticks, by gawd Pam Anderson is McFish. It's right on every level, isn't it?
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Does PETA know about this? I thought she was a vegan/vegetarian who NEVER touched anything that once had a pulse.
The episode where they had to make up "straight jocks" is possibly the fucking funniest shit I've ever seen.
I would be happy for either Manila or Raja to win, but I'm getting the vibe that Raja is this year's Raven/Nina Flowers: fierce as fuck but not "pageanty" enough to win (like past winners).
Love the show anyways.
What color did you get? I don't think I can give up the keyboard on my BB for a touch screen...iz addicted to it.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
Submitted by guest on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 3:17pm.
M.E. no Droid? Imma eligible for an upgrade too. Let me know if you likey that BB cuz I haven't decided what to get yet.
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I'm not big on touchscreens plus, I don't need anymore distractions with all the damn games. I would have gone for the Droid Pro (has BB keyboard) but it was $179.00.
BB upgrade to new BB was $19
raja wins. the end! but that tuck is SUPERNATURAL and UNCANNY. Carmen's crotch is smoother than mine, and I'm a woman!!!
@louise_brooks
She is? I used to really like Handler, but she's so far up Goopy's ass I just can't with her anymore. Countdown to Chelsea saying Fishsticks is "AH-MAYZING!!!" a dozen times starting now...
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“Pumpkin soup, grilled market vegetables. It’s good. I get my chef to cook it.” -Wendi Murdoch on reading Goop
Slurpme - some of General Patton's shit or something like that... has to do with Gen Patton.
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
Jacky:
What will he be pawning?
Submitted by daisy100 on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 3:13pm.
I was just stuck on the train for an hour and a half because someone jumped on the tracks. Selfish Asshole couldn't do this at night when people aren't commuting?
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no, they always jump during rush hours. It's like saying their last ''Fuck The World'' farewell. I went through that experience twice in the subway. I ended up having to take a cab both times to get to work.
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=636511281
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 2:59pm.
Queenie, I get the trots and sweat inducing-cramps when I have to job hunt.
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I get seven shades of pissed off because job search sites suck major amounts of ass.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
I've got a friend that will be on Pawn Stars tonight (History channel)!!!! big dude, will be wearing a yellow shirt.
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 3:08pm.
I just got back from the Verizon store, upgraded my phone. Stuck with BB, the new Curve 9330.
THE FUCKING CHANGED EVERYTHING.
Imma have to spend umpteen hours figuring this shit out again. And it WON'T retrieve my ringtones.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!
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That sucks - AT&T couldn't pull my ringtones from my Nokia onto my CrackBerry either. Which sucks because I PAID for that shit!
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
DWM:
Mud butt?!?!?!? Hahahahahaa~
M.E. no Droid? Imma eligible for an upgrade too. Let me know if you likey that BB cuz I haven't decided what to get yet.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
fishy, thank you se very much.
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
I saw a commercial that Goopy is going to be on Chelsea Handler tonight. It should make for a nice let's rip into Goopy post tomorrow.
TROTS
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=the+trots
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 3:04pm.
That is bad!!!
"not so fast tom ryan..."
I was just stuck on the train for an hour and a half because someone jumped on the tracks. Selfish Asshole couldn't do this at night when people aren't commuting?
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 3:09pm.
what the hell are the "trots"?
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LOLLL Maybe it's a form of speed-walking/farting to the interviewer's office?? I mean, is it easily fixable via a double JD shot?? This is important now. WE NEED ANSWERS
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"Tsuru-maru, a blind man, the innocent victim of the war that rages all round him; he's lost the last protection he had -a picture of the Buddha- and now stands alone, in the midst of ruins, at the edge of the abyss." -Akira Kurosawa's "Ran" 1985
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 2:59pm.
Queenie, I get the trots and sweat inducing-cramps when I have to job hunt.
Hey that's what I call mud butt too.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Well I guess I'm just really persnickety about my fast food. Lofl.
"not so fast tom ryan..."
what the hell are the "trots"?
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
I just got back from the Verizon store, upgraded my phone. Stuck with BB, the new Curve 9330.
THE FUCKING CHANGED EVERYTHING.
Imma have to spend umpteen hours figuring this shit out again. And it WON'T retrieve my ringtones.
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!
My sister in-law sends EVERYTHING back. I don't get it. If you want it cooked f'ing perfect, maybe you should go someplace a little classier then Chili's or cook it your damn self.
Submitted by guest on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 2:48pm.
Slurpee...ikr. And they want to charge extra for a tomato slice...gah.
And if that tomato is not ripe... as in still green...then daymit let me speak with your mgr. LOL.
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My favorite part of working at McDonald's when I was in high school was manning the fries and having some decrepit lardass wheeze on over and demand fries WITHOUT SALT. (Sans sel!) I would have to mop up the whole enterprise and dump the presalted fries (oh, the humanity) and cook that ONE old fat dude his own personal saltless fries, for the same price. I never understood this at all.
And it wasn't like I went over the place with a vacuum cleaner or anything; there was still salt here and there. And like that was the only source of salt at McDonald's! I suppose it's only the salt one can see with the naked eye that is cause for concern.
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Forever in debt to your priceless advice.
God, I hate people that constantly send food back. Unless I get something severely undercooked, "no e.coli for me, thank you very much" I just shut up and eat! Usually I'm so excited to get my grub I just dive in. Yeah, I'm simple like that!
@Jack- oh I know! Unless it's massively wrong, just fucking eat it or you will be ingesting a ton of bodily fluids that are not yours.
Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 2:44pm.
omg Carmen's bod is insane.
*sits w/ Queenie consoling her and her resume nightmare; gives her fudgecicle pop and/or flask*
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Thanks, Cappy! I needed that. Oh and BTW I finally read about Phylicia - such a sad story. I hope the responsible party(ies) get caught very soon.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Queenie, I get the trots and sweat inducing-cramps when I have to job hunt.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 04/25/2011 - 2:52pm.
My exwife used to send everything back no matter where we went to eat... She would complain the burger wasn't cooked enough at McD's (sitting in the drive thru) and send it back OMG THEY GON' PUT SHIT ON YO FEWD!!!
She needs to watch "Waiting".
"A little floor spice makes everything nice."
*blech*
I'm going to post a link to possibly the funniest job employment application,, as I'm curing a massive headache from Easter hangover. I can't really focus on anything today:
http://famousmisfortune.com/index.php/2011/04/20/since-were-on-the-subje...
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www.theanimalrescuesite.com - Click everyday to help animals in shelters
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=636511281
Suddenly I feel like I will DIE if I can't eat a McFish sandwich ASAP.
I have sat in the fast food parking lot and eaten my food. I just need some peace and quiet, it's cleaner, listen to the radio, not get hit on by toothless homeless guy, no screaming kids in the play area, avoid bumping into people from old church youth group, etc.
I love Carmen's body.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Carmen's body is flawless but seriously need to know how she packed her stuff away like that...
On the other hand, I hate every last one of these queens who have identified themselves as a heather..
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...