Hot Slut Of The Day!

The hot blonde homewrecker from Cher’s “I Found Someone” video! (as played by Cher’s former half-sister-in-law Virginia Madsen) The other night I spent a couple of hours going through Cher’s entire catalog of videos on YouTube (as everyone should at least once in their lives) and felt real emotion towards her video for “I Found Someone.” The song is an iconic piece of work on its own (I mean, Michael Bolton originally wrote it for Laura Branigan), but the video has all the perfect ingredients: elegant ensembles that should get their own exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, recycled sets from Meat Loaf’s last video, hazy bar smoke that only lingered around in the 80s, sweet moves, a broken picture frame, a bizarre dance club that is obviously a New Italian restaurant by day, extra pretty Stallone look-alikes galore and more importantly, a man-stealing ice blonde trick who snatches Cher’s man right in front of her! Let’s analyze:

Only a Sharon Stone-wrapped-in-Virginia Madsen being would have the audacity to throw fuckme eyes at Cher’s piece, but this trick went ahead and did it, and her mission proved successful! But as your mother told you when you were younger, don’t let your vagina get too comfortable on the peen of a man who left Cher for you. Cher busts back into the club ready to play and slides her back against almost every available hot man in that place. Cher’s cougar prowl game is unstoppable. Of course, the hot blonde homewrecker can’t compete with Cher’s seductive cat scratch back slides and gets dumped at the scene of the crime. Cher’s boomerang piece comes back to her, but she is not having it and would rather sing on empty train tracks in the middle of the night instead!

I’m sure my favorite hot blonde 1980s homewrecker is doing just fine, though. You can still find her circling around your man on the dance floor of some random warehouse club whose smoke machine budget is bigger than their booze budget.