Today being Good Earth Friday and all, I really expected Lindsay Lohan to get in the festive mood by wearing an eco-friendly toga made from marijuana stems and patches of the shrub her mother drunkenly fell into the night before, but she disappointed me by showing up in this shit instead. LiLo was on a roll there for a while by dressing like various Sharon Stone movie characters to court, but she officially ended her ho shit fashion streak today. Sailor pants usually only look good on actual sailors and toddlers with long torsos. LiLo is proving my point.
Today’s preliminary hearing in LiLo’s grand felony necklace snatching case will decide if they all go to trial or not. TMZ has been updating all day with every detail from the giant hemoglobin of gross that is Michael Lohan sitting in the front row to the jewelry store owner testifying that LiLo’s friend Pootie acted as an accomplice by distracting the employees. One of the jewelry store clerks also claims that the Crackful Dodger tried to pocket a pair of $1180 earring just four days before the alleged necklace theft. The jewelry store owner also testified that she bought the necklace for $850 and marked it up to $2,5000.
LiLo’s lawyer is trying to get the felony charge pushed down to a misdemeanor, but we won’t know if her ass was successful until the end of today. The judge will make that call and also rule if the case goes to trial. If the judge doesn’t drop the charge to a misdemeanor, expect White Oprah to burst into the court room dressed as Mary Magdalene and declare that today is the day justice has been crucified!
And that Lady Gaga/Snooki hybrid wearing the orange jumpsuit in the picture above? Yeah, I don’t know either.
UPDATE: The judge reduced the charge to a misdemeanor and proclaimed that the case will go to trial, but also ruled that LiLo violated her probation. Even if she’s found guilty and even though she fucked with her probation, she won’t get a second of jail time. The Cadbury Creme Eggnog shots are on White Oprah tonight!