Open Post: Hosted By Captain Hef Of The S.S. Haters Gonna Hate

April 22, 2011 / Posted by:

Hugh Hefner slipped out of his silk pajamas yesterday to vroom vroom with his child girl fiancee, Crystal Harris, and another Playmate through Disneyland in California. Judging by these pictures alone, it looks like Hef burned up his pacemaker from all of the excitement!!!!!

No, really, Hef is making the same face my abuelita made whenever my mother dragged her to Disneyland. My abuelita would only agree to go on It’s A Small World (to sneer at the animatronic brats)! That’s the only ride she’d go on. And then she’d spend the rest of the day licking on a $10 ice cream cone while sitting on a bench next to the water fountain where she’d throw the occasional sneer at all the real life human brats. I swear I once saw a subtle serene smile pass her face when one of those real life human brats knocked his teeth against the water fountain. Watching screaming brats almost bust their baby teeth out on the water fountain was her Mr. Toad’s!

And when is the Internet world finally going to get a Grouchy Olds at Disneyland Tumblr?

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