Mel Gibson Has Never Treated ANYONE Badly

April 22, 2011 / Posted by:

Mel Gibson’s movie The Beaver comes out next month so it’s the perfect time for him to try to patch the gaping cracks in his already crumbling reputation by giving a somewhat candid and lucid interview about the leaked audiotapes and more! In order to keep the glum cunt’s rage from simmering over, his anger management team insisted that the interview be conducted in a lukewarm jacuzzi with Mel’s little Nazi soldier shoved in a jet. It worked, because Mad Mel didn’t ask for one blow job (I think) or tell Allison Hope Weiner that she was dressed like a rape bait whore (I think) when he spoke to her for Deadline Hollywood.

The interview is longer than the therapy session you had to go through after listening to Mad Mel’s complete Passion of the Glum Cunt rants, but I’ll give you the ten-second-ish version. Mel says that he regrets what was said on those tapes, but then goes on to mouth fart that they were edited and the words that came flying out of his mouth in that one moment in time don’t define him as a monster.

“I’ve never treated anyone badly or in a discriminatory way based on their gender, race, religion or sexuality — period. I don’t blame some people for thinking that though, from the garbage they heard on those leaked tapes, which have been edited. You have to put it all in the proper context of being in an irrationally, heated discussion at the height of a breakdown, trying to get out of a really unhealthy relationship. It’s one terribly, awful moment in time, said to one person, in the span of one day and doesn’t represent what I truly believe or how I’ve treated people my entire life.”

When Mel said that first line, the jacuzzi jet spit his dick out from laughing so hard. Mel’s anger management team furiously shoved it back in so that the interview could go on without him screaming at Allison if she’s of the Jewish Weiners.

Allison then asked Mel if he’s scared that his acting career is now in a coffin because of the tapes. Mel doesn’t care if he’ll ever act again.

“I’m beyond that, way beyond that. The whole experience has been most unfortunate. And so it’s not without all the downside.

I could easily not act again. It’s not a problem. I’m going to do something now because I want to do it and because it’s fun. I’ve already pulled another job and it’s going to be fun.”

Sadly for Mel, the fun fun fun job he’s talking about is not of the blow variety. The pre-jacuzzi blow job continues to elude him!

Allison brought up how a little percent of his Hollywood friends (examples: Whoopi and Jodie Foster) have defended him, but then asked him how he felt when some of the cast of The Hangover II came together to kick him out of the movie.

“You have to let that go. I sat here and talked to [director] Todd [Phillips] about it. I like Todd. How could you not like Todd? He’s smart and he’s gifted and so are the other people in the film. It’s okay. You just have to let that go.”

Mel refused to go into the details of his divorce from his wife and sealed his lips when he was asked about the supposed $16 million settlement Oksana Grigorieva turned down, but he did have an answer for why he pleaded “no contest” to allegedly beating on OctoSana:

“I was allowed to end the case and still maintain my innocence. It’s called a West plea and it’s not something that prosecutors normally allow. But in my case, the prosecutors and the judge agreed that it was the right thing to do. I could have continued to fight this for years and it probably would have come out fine. But I ended it for my children and my family. This was going to be such a circus. You don’t drag other people in your life through this sewer needlessly, so I’ll take the hit and move on.”

Mel then goes on to blabber on and on and on about his springtime Beaver, so you can read all about it on Deadline if that’s how you want to spend your Good Friday morning.

Allison did ask a lot of pointed questions, but I still have a few that are lingering in my head area (not really). Did Mel ever get that beej or is it still hiding behind a corner laughing at him? Because of Michelle Obama’s whole anti-obesity campaign, has Mel switched from sugar tits to the healthier agave tits, or even Stevia tits? Did Mel really want OctoSana to get molested by a pack of Nilla Wafers (I forget the exact quote)? Mel says that all of the anti-Semetic shit he spewed happened at a very weak, heated moment, but then what’s his explanation for allegedly calling Winona Ryder an “oven dodger“? What did Veronica ever do to him? Should we call him Heather Gibson from now on?

These are the REAL questions that need answers!

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