Just Like Countess LuAnn Before Him….

April 21, 2011 / Posted by:

Simon van Kempen is the latest Real Housewives of NYC cast member to slap an open sore on the sanctity of music by abusing technology to put out his own single called “I Am Real.” It’s been described as a dance song, but the only movement you’ll want to make to this mess involves wrapping your hands around your own neck and shaking until Simon’s robot voice has left the building in your head. Seriously, the sound of those latex pants being ripped off of Simon’s hairy nutsack is probably more pleasant than this song.

Simon tells Popeater that his sound is very Jarvis Cocker and I have to agree. It is very Pulp. That is if you took a Pulp cassette single, let it warp in the sun, played it in a Boombox with low batteries and then shoved it all up a hippo’s ass right before the creature had to fart. I’m sure that’s what Simon meant.

(Thanks to everybody who sent this in!)

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >