LeAnn Rimes Didn’t Know How To Dump Her Husband

April 21, 2011 / Posted by:

Perched above these words is a picture of LeAnn Rimes in sparklier times when she weighed more than a dry egg noodle and had a glittery husband at her side to teach her how to paint on her face the right way (you know her make-up looks a’mess nowadays). This is the same glittery husband that LeAnn says she didn’t know how to send to the alimony collection area.

In a special on her life airing on the Great American Country Channel this Sunday, LeAnn says that she didn’t know how to end her marriage when she started screwing the wedding ring off of Eddie Cibrian, because of her shit relationship with her parents.

LeAnn is pulling all of our dicks (whether you’re married or not) with this one, but let’s hear what she has to say anyway. From NYDN:

On how she didn’t know how to put her then husband Dean Scheremet on the curb: “I know I didn’t do it the right way. I didn’t have the tools to know how to do it the right way, how to let go the right way. I’d never been taught that.”

On how SHE’S the one who felt alone even though she was dropping Dean for a new piece: “I think I felt really abandoned – I think ‘abandoned’ is a really good word – because of our divorce. Not only that, our divorce became so much bigger because it was publicized.”

On cheating on Dean: “I’m not glad it happened, but I know why it did.”

We all like to blame our parents for everything (examples: crooked hairlines, the reason for why we cry at the bottom of a cold shower in the middle of the night, alcoholism, etc…), but not knowing how to break up with a bitch? I mean, we all learned this from the opening credits of Dear John! It is not hard. LeAnn just needed to gently take the tweezers out of Dean’s hand, tell him his eyebrows look fabulous and then quote one of my favorite movies of all time Mi Vida Loca by saying: “Take all of your happy little shit and go.”

The point I’m trying to make is that LeAnn is full of cold shit as usual. I’m going to let Miss Dionne Warwick tell LeAnn the real reason why she didn’t dump her husband before getting with Eddie:

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