Spaz de la Huerta Has A Good Defense

Paz de la Huerta, the glistening swizzle stick of crazy from Boardwalk Empire, was arrested late last month after she allegedly ate the face of a reality star with her fist at a fancy hotel bar in NYC. Samantha Swetra, who was on MTV’s The City for a quick minute, told police that a fight broke out when Spaz tried to get on her man. Samantha was punched in the face and her leg got cut up from a broken glass thrown by Spaz.

Spaz was in a NYC court room this morning where she was officially charged with third-degree assault, harassment and criminal possession of a weapon. But fear not! The greasy wild flower of my heart has a good reason for why she whooped a trick. The NYDN reports:

De la Huerta, 26, allegedly punched Samantha Swetra – of MTV’s “The City” – in the face, bloodying her nose and mouth, and threw a glass at her.

“I’m a real actress – HBO. She’s a publicity seeker, a fake actress,” prosecutors say De la Huerta told cops after the March 20th dust-up at the Standard Hotel.

De la Huerta stood silently with her hands in her pockets as Judge Frank Nervo issued an order of protection and told her to be back in court on May 19.

I lovelovelovelovelove that Spaz added the “HBO” to her proclamation of innocence. If she was on The CW, Fox or even NBC, it wouldn’t be alright. But because you have to pay a monthly fee to see her work, it’s okay! Like she was expecting the cops to release her and say, “Ooooh, HBO! Why didn’t you say so then?”

Samantha probably didn’t put up a fight, because reality stars aren’t about to tussle for free. They get paid to fight for real. Show Samantha a check, and then she would’ve shown some flying fists.

And I am perfectly aware that Spaz is a complete asshole who won’t even able to shout “I’m a real actress – Public Access!!!” in a few years, but I can’t help but not love her. If she bathed, I’d drink her bath water with a shot of Bacardi.