Lady Gaga Is An Unmanufactured Original

April 19, 2011 / Posted by:

Lady Gaga not only tucked her disco stick behind that landing zip, but she also froze humility, reality and sanity in a bowl of ice and then shoved all of them up between her ass cheeks. Because in an interview with NME Magazine, Kryten’s secret crater child waved her delusional ego monster in the air and let it do the roaring for her. Lady Caca is tired of people constantly trying to pull her tuck out and reveal her as a manufactured puppet creature who runs on the recycled DNA of Grace Jones. You might want to clear any innocent cups of liquid from the room, because reading what she said will cause you to take a sip of something just so you can spit it onto your monitor. It’s the Gaga reflex.

Caca says that if you ripped all of the community college art student drag off of her, she’d still bring you to your knees with her potent talent. The CACA doth protest much.

“Let me tell you something. If you fucking rip my hairbow and my wig off my fucking head, my shoes, my bra, every single thing on my body, and you throw me on a piano with a microphone, I will fucking make you cry.’

I feel I have been probed endlessly about who the fuck I am. I have been quite open about it. And still nobody seems to have a clue.

I’m not going to start churning out what you expect. If you’re looking for me to be something that isn’t there, STOP LOOKING. I am not that. I am not created. If you want me to be a manufactured act, you can fuck off.’

Caca’s got one thing right. The tears would come to us if she got naked on the piano, because it would be our body’s way of trying to protect our souls by blurring our vision with tears. That Gaga reflex again.

But really, is this carbon copy cretin trying to make us believe that an A&R team didn’t conjure her up using the career blueprints of Madonna and (insert the names of all of the other comparisons here)? Bitch is about as original as the acid wash Guess? jeans my mom bought me in grade school at an outlet store in Tijuana. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Caca would save herself a lot of fuck words if she just admitted that she’s committed grand theft thievery and if you have a problem with it you can suck her soft dick as soon as it finishes cumming money. In the meantime, ho can tuck her top lips in and eff herself with my fake Guess? jeans.

via Daily Mail

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