Stunning. The End.

One cannot begin to describe the Mr. Miyagi meets preschool craft hour meets Dutch lesbian house painter ridiculousness that exploded all over Pete Burns in London today, but it really doesn’t matter. Words are cheap (and so are fanny packs apparently since ho has two) when describing the beauty of Pete Burns. Just allow your eyes to skip along his scribbled BIC pen brows before falling past his silicone mound cheeks and landing safely on the pink leeches mating on his mouth. An art school could devote an entire course to Pete’s lip liner application. Perfection.

You know, Cher playing Rocky Dennis in Mask instead of Eric Stoltz sounds like a bad idea, but Pete Burns proves that it’s a beautiful thing. Pete can actually play both roles. He’s like a one-man production of Mask!

And now I’ll leave you to get lost in the gorgeousness Pete is serving up.