Carrot Top Goes Straight
With the help of a steamroller, two cast iron hot plates, this picture of John Travolta (which can turn any gay hair straight) and enough balm to fill a Beyonce rider, a team of stylists tamed the wild bushel of Gossamer pubes on Carrot Top's head for a Las Vegas Magazine photo shoot. The result has obviously given you the answer to the question: "Could I ever be attracted to the secret toilet baby of Jackie Stallone and Fabio?" Don't act like the answer isn't "YES!YES!YES!," because who can deny the come hither look of a female-to-male transsexual ginger who runs a mini-mall beauty salon/car insurance firm? It's a good thing that sofa is leather, because if it wasn't you might leave a panty pudding stain after you sit down.
I bet Carrot Top loved his new luxurious look so much that he pulled out the flat iron and matched the carpet to his drapes. Now when he hits it from the back, he can tickle your taint with the tips of his flowing pube cape.
Here's a video of how they made Carrot Top even more nipple-burning gorgeous. It's NSFW since it's obviously porn.
via Las Vegas Magazine (Thanks OurMissC)
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Chaka1- So he hasn't had any plastic surgery? There's something "off" about his face though, and I don't think steroids mess with your face like that.
I must be shameless, cos I love gingers and I think he could be sorta hot if his face was more natural. o_O
Now I know what he looks LIKE!
A runaway cast member from the Broadway production of Cats! He looks like a big CAT. Not much makeup required!
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Submitted by johnnysgirl on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 7:28pm.
Submitted by Wonder Woman on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 6:48pm.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 2:29pm
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i want a baby that looks like you!!! sorry if that sounds weird!!! i mean it as a compliment...LOL
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
Submitted by super-ette on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 7:15pm.
Wonder Woman - I know. He was/is in a few bands - one being Queens of the Stone Age (sorry about the Vevo, skip the ad):
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wow...lead guitarist and lead singer!! AND dave grohl!!!
KICK ASS!!! loved the videos!!!!!!
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
Submitted by Wonder Woman on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 6:48pm.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 2:29pm.
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who is that cutie patootie in your avi??
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It's me, when I was about 4. I'm wearing a "Haggis Hunter" t-shirt (my favorite article of clothing at the time - actually, I'd give anything to have that t-shirt still) and a pair of Mr. Potato Head glasses. I loved to pretend they were real glasses.
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker
Wonder Woman - I know. He was/is in a few bands - one being Queens of the Stone Age (sorry about the Vevo, skip the ad):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s88r_q7oufE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bSGxuFku7c
Submitted by chaka1 on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 4:55pm.
And he is not gay...
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really??? huh, met him at MisterSister a few weeks back...
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 2:29pm.
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who is that cutie patootie in your avi??
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
lmao at:
"...which can turn any gay hair straight"
He looks the same except with straight hair. Needs more work to look good in that suit.
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Submitted by chaka1 on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 4:55pm.
And he is not gay...
And he has a huge pecker...
Whoa, TMI. I do not need to know anything about his junk.
And he is not gay...
And he has a huge pecker...
Little known fact, Rob Pattinson is also a natural ginge...
I've known Carrot Top for years, and yes that is his face. He toys with his eyebrows and wears a lot of makeup. This is best he's looked in a while.
Lea Michele and Carrot Top could vie for ugliest person alive!
"People are strange when you're a stranger...Faces look ugly when you're alone." ~ The Doors
is it just me but he reminds me of Kellan Lutz in that suit? - or is it the other way around?
Submitted by Chucks on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 12:24pm.
Ugh, gingers.
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Watch it, buddy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLLYO8Hd_sE
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker
I don't think he's had any surgery on his face. I've looked at a lot of his before and after photos. The only thing I see he is doing differently is he has shaved off his eyebrows and is drawing them on much higher, with a 'pulled' shape. And he's wearing lots of foundation, which contributes to the strangeness of his look. But really, I don't see any difference in his nose or cheeks or even chin. I think he just started playing with makeup.
I like him bette with the straight hair and NO goofy makeup.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
This guy makes me wish I was blind...most disgusting looking dude EVER.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
how is he still a thing? like didn't 99.9999% of the people who ever heard of him decide he was annoying like 10 years ago?
Marg Helgenberger on steroids. That's it!
Submitted by super-ette on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 1:03pm.
Josh Homme is my favorite ginger pretend-boyfriend:
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holy fuck!!! he is HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 12:51pm.
Shaun White reminds me of Rocky Dennis.
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~spit take~ lmao !!!
WOW! THANK YOU to toni. I kept looking at that picture and could NOT think of who he was reminding me of. And I even thought to myself someone in Parenthood....
Then I checked the comments to see if anyone else saw it and your's was the first comment I saw.
That was driving me crazy.
He looks like Dax Shepherd, poor Dax.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 12:39pm.
Submitted by Spiffy McSpitshine on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 12:05pm.
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I agree, the main part of his appeal is his personality and the fact he overcame problems associated with a childhood heart defect. All around cool guy.
And I lost my old avie :o(
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy
Josh Homme is my favorite ginger pretend-boyfriend:
http://www.squidoo.com/joshhomme
http://www.rollogrady.com/josh-homme-pj-harvey-i-wanna-make-it-wit-chu/
Brazilian Blowout sounds like perhaps you had a massive queef attack in the middle of your bikini wax.
Carrot Top looks like Raggedy Ann.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
Shaun White reminds me of Rocky Dennis.
Meh, he looks way better with straight hair. Still his face is pretty effed up...but better without the messy clown curls.
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
But can his gaze turn a baby deer into porcelain, like that British chick?
He has got to be one of the most unattractive humans out there.
Submitted by Spiffy McSpitshine on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 12:05pm.
*****
Off topic: I miss your old avie.
On topic: Shaun White has a great personality and seems like a genuinely nice guy. Hard to hate on anybody like that.
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Sit on my face and tell me that you love me...
Submitted by Chucks on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 12:24pm.
Ugh, gingers.
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i know carrot top ruins it for ginges, and they get enough shit!!! LOL
He looks like Kathy Griffin's twin!!!
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"low self esteem is a bitch"...
http://tinyurl.com/3dyu6ef
I have to back up Spiffy- Shaun White looks cute:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Shaun_White_2008.jpg
Submitted by Bunnyman on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 12:27pm.
Eww, Shaun White is one of the ugliest creatures ever rectal-birthed on this planet. He looks like a doctor was halfway through a partial-birth abortion and changed his mind.
Thank you! That boy is hideous!
Carrot top is much improved with straight hair but I still wouldn't...
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Shaun White adorable? ICK, no way.
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I'm not Mr. N SYNC I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly I can be a prick if you tempt me
-Eminem
Submitted by Spiffy McSpitshine on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 11:59am.
Submitted by mbar on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 11:16am.
Shaun White, is that you?
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Oh come on, don't insult my boy Shaun like that. Shaun White is fucking adorable. Carrot Top?....well...you know the answer to that.
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Eww, Shaun White is one of the ugliest creatures ever rectal-birthed on this planet. He looks like a doctor was halfway through a partial-birth abortion and changed his mind.
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"There is something the matter with you, Caprice...Something is the matter with YOUR VAGINA!"
I hate to get all Debbie Downer up in here (and whatnot) but I just heard on NPR this morning that Brazilian Blowouts use dangerous chemicals like formaldehyde.
http://topics.npr.org/article/0aw7fnY6rc7Zb
Ugh, gingers.
Submitted by snowball on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 11:49am.
He looks like a serial rapist who would do kids, men, women and animals. Probably furniture too.
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I get the same creepy vibe from him, like he's someone you would see peeking in your window or the nightmate of opening your eyes and him standing over you...*shudder*.
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
He's very handsome with straight hair. I'd hit it.
"I make myself sick, Get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure,Grown up nerd."
-Fat lip (The Pharcyde)
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 11:58am.
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He used to have a sweet face. Awkward,but sweet:
http://redriverpak.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/carrot-top.jpg
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 11:58am.
So, what does this guy do, exactly?
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He does pretty much the same tired schtick he always did, silly props and mile-a-minute one liners. Since he's in Vegas (probably forever now) he's more "adult" than he used to be. Sitting through his show isn't easy, I had a free ticket and left about halfway through.
"Seymour!! You said you'd never get married until you bought me an iron lung!"
I thought Carrot Top was a bossy bottom ?? You know that no one is hitting that from the front !! Unless the hair covers the face.
Submitted by mbar on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 11:16am.
Shaun White, is that you?
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Oh come on, don't insult my boy Shaun like that. Shaun White is fucking adorable. Carrot Top?....well...you know the answer to that.
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy
So, what does this guy do, exactly? I vaguely remember him doing standup comedy circa 1992, and since then, I've only seen him here on dlisted, looking like something out of the Real Ghostbusters cartoon that would have haunted my 8-year-old nightmares.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Carrot Top has always been my go-to for impossible who'd-you-rathers. For example:
Who'd you rather: Carrot Top or Rush Limbaugh?
*gags*
"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment." -- Dorothy Parker
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 04/18/2011 - 11:27am.
I agree. I think he looks about the same as he used to, just roided up and metro'd. carrot top, on steroids, with contoured eyebrows.
that said, he is hideous.
Looks like Axl Rose, except human.
damn thought that was Dax Sheperd (Whatever his name is) in a ginge form
*tell em get in line and kiss your ass MUAH!*