Coachella can go and suck the desert dust out of its cooch, because the real party went down on top of a table at The Gay and Lesbian Center benefit when Juliette Lewis defied the laws of tight white pants by rage squatting during her band’s performance. That bottle of wine doesn’t know whether to pop its cork or sit real still hoping that her crotch thetans don’t suck it right in. I’m no pelvic expert, but Juliette looks like she could Kegel up a suction tunnel so I’m thinking the latter happened. Juliette also wasn’t alone on the table, Cyndi Lauper threw her ass up there during her performance. You know your weekend has been made when you’re staring into the crotch of a legend.
And no, you’re not the only one who is looking at those bottles of sweet sweet nectar like a worried parent watching their toddler play in the sand box around a bunch of rowdy ass brats. Juliette is a poot and scoot away from sending that beautiful bottle crashing to the floor. I’m all for stomping on a table, but make sure the innocents (aka the bottle of booze) are safe and sound first.
Here’s a few more pictures of Juliette and Cyndi hollerin’ for the gays in L.A. last night. Chely Wright, her fiancee, Vanilla Gorilla and Kat Von D also showed up. Hopefully, a bold gay with taste snatched that gutter garbage wig right off of Kat Von D’s head and put it back on the end of a mop where it belongs. That wig is seven pounds of BUSTED.