Just like that, every Honda Spree is feeling hotter than a motherfucker today, because their title as the biggest two-wheeled joke in the world has been replaced by this Trannyformers disaster. Late last night, Lady Gaga dropped a Photoshopped shit bomb on her little monsters (and sparked a new meme) when she Twatted out the album cover for “Born This Way.” This just confirms what I’ve known all along: bitch gets her tuck jobs at Jiffy Lube.
I can already hear Caca vroom-vroom-vrooming about how this is METAPHORICAL HIGH ART CAMP and only the few chosens ones who have recently gotten an oil and filter change in their creative node will understand this. Stick a banana in her exhaust pipe and tell her gas pumper at AM/PM to start filling her tank with a steady stream of GET OVER YOUR FUCKING SELF (87 octane, of course). I will tell Caca the same thing I told my cousin when she came out of the airbrusher store in the “ghetto mall” wearing a t-shirt with Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck (in Smile Now, Cry Later style) on it: walk in front of me and don’t make eye contact with me when we’re both in line at Orange Julius.
Some of Gaga’s little monsters think that this cover is a sike on a bike and believe that the real cover will rise in 3 days….just like Jesus. I wish I was making this up. But you know, maybe they’re right. This cover is definitely missing something (besides a tractor trailer smashing into it):
There, that’s somewhat better. It’s still not going to pass a smog check, but maybe Paula Deen will pay homage to Thelma & Louise by riding this Cacacyle right off of a cliff. Remember to jump off, Paula. Butter needs you!