Nicolas Cage, the spastic duffel bag of crazy who can furrow his brow like no other, was put into handcuffs in New Orleans earlier this morning and it wasn’t because he made Season of the Witch. It also wasn’t because he named his son Kal-El. Nicolas allegedly got pushed his wife (and one of my gold digging heroes) Alice Kim and then freaked out at the cops when they told him to take his drunk ass home. Where is Elisabeth Shue when Nicolas Cage really needs her?
A source tells TMZ that a cab driver called 911 when he watched an extremely wasted Nicolas Cage push Alice during a fight on the streets. The cops arrived and weren’t even interested in arresting Nic. The cops told him to go home, but being the mouthy douchefart that he is, Nic kept screaming at them: “Why don’t you just arrest me?” Dear dumbasses, when you dare a cop to arrest you, they’re going to fucking arrest you.
The cops caged Nicolas and charged him with domestic violence and disturbing the peace. Nicolas is still in the clink and waiting for his bail hearing. Alice swears he didn’t get physical with her and hasn’t filed a complaint.
Nicolas already has to sell his collection of pharaoh skulls to pay the IRS and now he goes and double dares the cops to arrest him (insert a smiling Marc Summers here)? If you thought that Nicolas Cage couldn’t make a worse life decision than Wicker Man, he has just proven you wrong.
And in case you’re keeping score:
Nicolas Cage: 0 Bees: 2
UPDATE: Nicolas’ ass just paid his $11k bail and is back out on the streets daring society to watch his movies.