Since the Illuminati’s army of satellites controls the airwaves and beyond you will be hearing Lady Gaga’s “Judas” everywhere you go for the next few months. Buying Massengill and Shasta as Duane Reade? You’ll hear it. Licking on a peen hole in the alleyway behind a Waffle House? You’ll hear it from a car driving by. Stranded on a deserted island after your boat capsized in the middle of the ocean? You’ll hear it from the monkeys humming it in the trees. Watching Celebrity Apprentice with the sound off? Marlee Matlin’s signer will translate the lyrics with his hands. It’s really going to be all over, so if you want to prepare your ear drums for the terror it will face in the next few months, the full track, which leaked today, is below.
On first listen, it sounds like “Like a Prayer’s” disco dust loving second cousin who really wants to be the Act 1 finale song in the Illuminati’s production of Jesus Christ Superstar. My contract with myself prohibits me from saying anything positive about Caca, so I will stick my fingers between my crack and stop right here.