Brooke Mueller Is Back On Crack

April 15, 2011 / Posted by:

It looks like Brooke Mueller has fallen off the wagon and landed mouth first right on a crack pipe. That’s what Radar is saying anyway. Since yesterday morning, Brooke has reportedly been been siphoning piss out of puppies for her drug test and was seen trying to sell a watch at a pawn shop in Inglewood (FYI: Brook’s mom said she was selling the watch for a “friend“). Now a drug dealer in Inglewood tells Radar that Brooke bought an 8-ball of crack for $150. If Brooke is trying to make Charlie look like a better parent in comparison, it’s not working, but really…crack?!

The bad shit merchant who goes by the name T-Mac (they’re always named T-Mac) says that she came out of the pawn shop and was itching for a hit right away, “Man, I ain’t never seen some shit like that, a cute ass white bitch looking for some candy on these streets. I was posted up across the street from the pawn shop and, when she got into her Benz, she asked me if I knew where she could get a bump. At first, I thought she was po-po, you feel me, but she told me she just wanted to get high. So I went for it. We got in her ride, bent a corner, and I hooked her ass up with 8-ball for a buck fifty and told her if she liked it, to come see me again.”

No word if Brooke got a receipt or not.

TMZ says that Brooke better hurry up with siphoning that puppy piss out, because she’s got a drug test scheduled for 6PST tonight. If she gets an F on that shit or doesn’t show up, they could take her twins away.

So those twins turn to the right and see the par-baked warlock staring back at them with crazy eyes and then they turn to the left and see Brooke Mueller making out with a crack rock. If they haven’t said their first words yet, then I’ll bet my everything that those first words will be: FUCK MY LIFE. Does Denise Richards want to pick those boys up or is she going to wait until they crawl up to her front door, because I’m pretty sure they’re headed that way.

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