QOTD: GOOP On Her "Square Butt"
Fishsticks Paltrow is EVERYWHERE whoring out her cookbook like the bill from her exclusive organic herbalist is due tomorrow and so she's giving interviews to anybody who will stick a recording device under her mouth (Pre-approved by her people, of course. Fishy cares about where her spit lands.). Fishy exchanged words with Self Magazine and they talked about what she puts in her mouth (fried clams, red wine, duck sausage, the distilled tears of the maids she scolds for washing their hands in the guest powder room instead of the servants sink in the cellar), how much she works out during the week (90 minutes a day, 5 times a week) and how her trainer Tracy "Batwinginator" Anderson is solving the problem that is her SpongeBob ass. Yeah, this is the mess that came out of Fishy's mouth when Self asked her about her challenge areas:
"My butt! My butt, butt, butt. When Tracy met me, she said that I had a long, square butt that she was going to redesign, and I was, like, "Yeah? Good luck." The amazing thing is, she was right! And it's still changing!"
Redesign?! Okay, now I watch a lot of DIY Network (because men in tight t-shirts talking about wood and calk speaks to me in a special way) and I know that during a remodel you can't remove a load bearing pillar. You just can't. And Fishy's got a major load bearing pillar shoved so far up her culo that if she opened her mouth really wide you could see the top of it. It's not going anywhere, so she should just embrace her flat, square, long ass. It's a beautiful thing. The kids can even roll out dough on it for pizza that will go into the fancy oven in their garden. It's fun for the whole family.
• 
I kinda love Fishsticks, not gunna lie. I think she is actually a pretty good actress who picks interesting movies a of the time. And as a celebrity I find her totally amusing, because she just doesn't get it. I don't think she means to come across as snotty and that's what is so funny, she like genuinely thinks that she is "just like everybody else"
Another thing that bugs me: bitch claims to be a natural blond but her dark roots tell another story. She's more a medium brown brunette, if not darker.
Your hair color when you were 10 IS NOT your "natural shade."
I'm just really glad that she has this cookbook coming out because I can't find any cookbooks in my area. Now I can actually go in my kitchen if I want to! I'm sooo lucky.
Oh fuck off Paltrowski. Jen Aniston has done that very same pose and outfit on mag covers for 50 years now.
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TheBreakdown on Sat, 04/09/2011 - 2:28pm.
Why even go to college these days?
Just suck cock on cam, get pissed on for YouTube, learn Trickonics as your main language, and wear a slut dress every day....
Wow Fishy, such a revelation. Who knew that with strength training and dilligence you can transform your skinny fat, flabby ass into a nice rounded muscular one.
Jesus, give this bitch the Nobel Prize.
DO NOT LOOK AT ME!! DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT OR YOU WILL FOREVER BURRRRRN!! NO I WILL NOT SIGN YOUR BOOK, PEASANT!
fuck off bitch.
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Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one
Bjork You and Elmo-
Fuck that. I hope you all look her in the eye and call her Fishy under your breath.
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Honey badger don't give a shit.
GOD BLESS THE LONG SQUARE BUM PITTS!
You are all so jealous that you have to let people look at your fat selves and shit! HATERS, You wish you had her long square ass life!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
OH.MY.GOD.JUST.DIE.ALREADY.
I have to admit as much as I can't stand Jennifer Lopez her assessment of Paltrow was spot on when she made that remark about Gwyneth being an overrated, undertalented actress who capitalized on her relationship with Brad Pitt.
Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 04/15/2011 - 9:30am.
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You're right. I work at a stop on her tour and we have been told not to speak to her, look at her, or make eye contact. She will also not sign books for employees. For those attending the signing, she will not take pictures with anyone or allow her photo to be taken. CUNT.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
On her current book tour, her PR staff handed out instructions to the plebes who work at the stores where she is promoting her book. They are not to look at her (and they definitely should not make eye contact). I had heard about celebrities pulling this don't-look-at-me crap, e.g., Ashley Judd, but I honestly thought it was rumour. Well, I know someone who works in one of these stores, and it's true about Paltrow.
Yeah, Paltrow is so down to earth, so like us. We can buy her book and learn how to be an Upper Eastside socialite wannabe, like take a crash course in WASP 101 (aka, How to Look Like You Attended a Seven Sisters School), but we can't look at her (especially if we are the ones who will be selling her book).
The mean stories about her are true.
Please let her book tank. (By the way, did anyone see in "Vogue" some issues back where that other insufferable snob Jeffrey Weingarten oddly drew in his claws and wrote a sycophantic piece on Goopy's forthcoming cookbook? Vomitosa.)
This square assed anorexic hag ruined Mario Batali's food for me. Thanks, bitch. Does Fishy S Mario's hairy orange D after every meal to assist with her purging of it? The world may never know.
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Fancy's Big Surprise: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3r5BLdqxig
Fancy's Big Surprise Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY4we9Ivg9M
FASCINATING, Gwyneth. You had a long, square bum and now it's changing; how could I have lived without this vital insight into you and your ass?!
LOL the dirtywhore know whats UP!
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Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 04/15/2011 - 7:58am.
you will never hide ur tits from me!!!
True story.. he's like a heat seeking missile... a teat seeking missile if you will.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
you will never hide ur tits from me!!!
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Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one
Shut your pie hole bitch. I'm beginning to hate you more than Hilton.
hiding tits from u might b fucked
http://hotphotosandwallpapers.50webs.com/
thank you hope to like it
Hey, Gwyneth- good products sell themselves. If you have to try this hard, people just ain't buying.
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Sit on my face and tell me that you love me...
::coulda had a V8 forehead smack:: wow do I feel stoopid. I thought she was perfection personified.
We're hearing waaay too much about her lately.
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now is the time for guts and guile ~ Dame Elizabeth
Cunty Squarepants needs to STFU!
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You're simple, you're shallow, you're a common whore. That's why we're soul mates. ~Karen Walker
Since I'm (now) a knitter myself I probably shouldn't talk bad about Chris Martin, or Coldplay, but yeah, I once heard that they're all absolutely into knitting. So maybe that explains why they're still married. And why the last few albums sucked.
No offense to knitters or knitting men in general.
Why does she look like her eyes are permanently on migration to the top of her head?
If you're sick of staring at that smug face (who isn't!) than you might enjoy this live stream from bald eagles' nest.
http://www.ustream.tv/decoraheagles
CUNT shut the fuck up god i hate her
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Pls no more of this boring, talentless, ugly Hollyweird by-product. There were rumors her marriage with Chris Martin was on the rocks, I see the stooges are still together. For the sake of their kids? Coz they are different like water and oil.
Christ, how does this bitch (or any bitch for that matter) get away with shit like ritzyroxie describes??? Somebody really needs to put that hag in her place...
We hate fish - fish are icky, stinky, boring, and no fun at all.
Yuck!
bitch please
.
This her shrink talking. It's all about Gwyn-Gwyn-Gwyn, all the time!
Whenever a 40something w/kids & husband(?) talks me-me-me to this level, there's something definitely off-kilter.
.
EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 11:10pm.
oh, for the love of "God"!!!.... this bitch is STILL getting a forum to exact her half assed, privileged opinions?!
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Correction: Long, square assed.
And to answer: Yes. We must all know what Gwynnie thinks on a daily basis. Otherwise how will we ever become the rich white ladies she knows we were all meant to be?
I've decided one of the best curses I could bestow upon her is a long-term sexual relationship with Angelina.
I think a lot of guys might like that too.
And I just kinda prefer it if I curse one person that a lot of other people get something positive out of it at the same time:)
Just think - she couldn't say too much with a mouth full of vagina now could she?
♥ Threadkilla!
Kelly Osbourne! Eep!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:16pm.
The fuck?! I had no idea. I'm not fond of butchies (although Kate barely qualifies as one, but still... I'm a femme who likes major femmes) but Kate is *THE* hotness to me!
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Fuck yeah. Kate is hot. She's more androgynous than butch. *sigh* I don't really have a type, but Kate definitely does it for me. Thank God she is not a pretentious fucktard like Fishsticks.
There are many insecurities going on here with this woman.
Good luck to her and all as I can relate to that as a human being. We all have ways to overcompensate for our perceived/real shortcomings, but...
This girl -- and I know she's 40 too -- needs to sit down and mature, because she's constantly trying too damn hard to embody this stupid ideal she created.
Also, bitch needs to stop making my eyes roll too much and fuck off to somewhere (hopefully a place not safe for her! Joking...)
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 11:10pm.
It's not for nothing that you are internet elite. You tell her like it is!
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Who are you calling silly cow?
her level of self-centeredness is pretty mind boggling.
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"Come Back As A Flower: Songs of Stevie Wonder" - w/Mimi Fox, Akira Tana and more - name-your-price download at http://tiny.cc/u5fa8
Her new BFF Beyonce has a Sponge Bob Square Ass too so I'm sure she can gets some tips from her on how to wear ass pads properly to fool the world into thinking you are "Bootylicious"
oh, for the love of "God"!!!.... this bitch is STILL getting a forum to exact her half assed, privileged opinions?!
her mother and father were elite... actors....
yeah, i could tell you how to build a nuclear submarine because my father worked for General Dynamics... i could show you how to break into a bank because my mother worked as a teller...
holy jeebus, Gweenie.... SHUT... THE... FUCK.. UP!!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I'd bet money Gwyneth's cheating with Jay-Z
Bwahha "redesign...square butt" bullshit BHhahahha
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"How about never? Is never good for you?"
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 10:26pm.
@fishy: see I knew it was you. I'm just off to Home Depot for the pitchforks and torches but we should be at your door in a coupla hours tops:)
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What's more, I've converted MK. He'd compelled to comment on her daily. muah muahahahah Muawahahaha MUAWAHAHAHAHAHA
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"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."-MK as Gwyneth
Submitted by Lovers Keep On ... on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:05pm.
I'm pretty sure he hates her as much as we do, but he loves his kids, so he stays. Plus, he lives in a house next door so he doesn't have to see her much.
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I had totally forgotten about that 'house-next-door' arrangement. I'll bet his house looks nothing like her house. I'm also willing to bet he kicks himself every time he has to refer to his children by their ridiculous names.
On another note, I wish I could install Mr. Starr in a home next door. We would get together for fucky-fucky times, and then he and his mess would be sent right back over to next-door. Happiness all around.
@fishy: see I knew it was you. I'm just off to Home Depot for the pitchforks and torches but we should be at your door in a coupla hours tops:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
Submitted by thegobbler on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 7:57pm.
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 7:42pm.
THANK YOU! XD it's hypnotic
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 10:00pm.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 7:59pm.
MK!!!! BEEN Waiting all day for a goopy post.
YAYAYAYYAYAYYAAAAAY~!!!!!!!!!!
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You must be so happy these days.
It makes me wonder if you're not somehow responsible for this shit...like you have some kinda long standing email relationship with her and a coupla years ago it all started with a "Subject: I MISS YOU!!!
Dear Ms. Paltrow,
I am your biggest fan and I think the entertainment world needs you back! AMERICA needs you back! And not just as an actress! I love to watch you walk that red carpet! Your pink dresses are delightful! But no - I want so much more from you. You should write a book! Or a movie, even! I want to see you do everything! THAT is how much I love you! I want to see you cook! And eat! I want to see you exercise! You should sing too! And dance! O MY it could be so MARVELOUS! Do come back to us, Gwyneth! We need you!!!
with love,
fishsticksfan"
Don't even lie. I know this is your fault.
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OMG!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!!!!
I want L+S or OK or somebody to do a issue that's just:
Brad Pitt's EX Factor!: Where are they now?
Besides being FINALLY entertaining I think it would be great therapy for him. He's not an OLD man. He doesn't gotta stay with that witch forever.
♥ Threadkilla!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
so she has to rub in our face how much she works out most moms of kids never have time to do anything but kids, work and sleep. This pretentious whore irritates me to my core. If I had a free 90 minutes any day working out is not what I would do. Fishy just gets bitchier and more pretentious every mag and interview. Disliked her alot before, loathe the cunt now!!
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:55pm.
In her bikini, the back looks like the front.
http://tinyurl.com/3mv6gpb
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That poor triangle! It's gonna be made fun of when it returns to the land of shapes for inter-shape fuckery with that square ass!
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Submitted by Fraggle: I vary between 665 and 667, depending on hormones.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 7:59pm.
MK!!!! BEEN Waiting all day for a goopy post.
YAYAYAYYAYAYYAAAAAY~!!!!!!!!!!
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You must be so happy these days.
It makes me wonder if you're not somehow responsible for this shit...like you have some kinda long standing email relationship with her and a coupla years ago it all started with a "Subject: I MISS YOU!!!
Dear Ms. Paltrow,
I am your biggest fan and I think the entertainment world needs you back! AMERICA needs you back! And not just as an actress! I love to watch you walk that red carpet! Your pink dresses are delightful! But no - I want so much more from you. You should write a book! Or a movie, even! I want to see you do everything! THAT is how much I love you! I want to see you cook! And eat! I want to see you exercise! You should sing too! And dance! O MY it could be so MARVELOUS! Do come back to us, Gwyneth! We need you!!!
with love,
fishsticksfan"
Don't even lie. I know this is your fault.
♥ Threadkilla!
Three Pop Stars, One Song:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6474802/three-pop-stars-one-song-with-...
Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:41pm.
HAAHAHAH FISHHY!!! Thankss soooo much for that!!
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In her bikini, the back looks like the front.
http://tinyurl.com/3mv6gpb
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"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."-MK as Gwyneth
HAAHAHAH FISHHY!!! Thankss soooo much for that!!
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Submitted by Fraggle: I vary between 665 and 667, depending on hormones.