Open Post: Hosted By Shakira And A Sneaky Thief

April 14, 2011 / Posted by:

During a concert in Monterrey, Mexico, Shakira (who was dressed like Amy Poehler in Mean Girls for some reason) grabbed at the hands of her fans in the audience when one bold burglar bitch showed no shame by slipping a ring right off of her finger. And right under her nose. LITERALLY. Shakira realized something was amiss, looked down at her empty finger and made a mental note to replace it with another gem from her jewelry vault. Seriously, you know you’re a next level kind of rich when you barely blink after a motherfucker jacks your ass like this!

Shakira didn’t shut it down. Shakira didn’t snap for the lights. Shakira didn’t have everybody arrested. Shakira didn’t do any of that!

I would’ve called a time out, put that bitch on lockdown and given everybody a personal TSA experience. Who cares if they hid it in their natural hiding place. Everybody would have to line up, drop their panties and find a way to make their butts cough. Call in the sniffin’ dogs! Call in the everybody! Who cares if the ring might have been worthless. That’s not the point. You can’t rob a bitch to their face and think you’ll get away with it.

And furthermore, who the hell let Lindsay Lohan into Mexico in the first place?!

UPDATE: Shakira’s rep says that nothing was snatched and she still has her ring. Re-route Detective La Toya’s mystery mobile, because her services are no longer needed in Mexico.

via E! Online

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