James Franco Is Like, “Who?”

April 14, 2011 / Posted by:

The coke-laced delusions of grandeur that constantly hard fuck the frontal lobes of Lindsay Lohan’s brain worked up a serious sweat last night at Beauty & Essex in NYC! LiLo held court at a table of her trained head nodders and went on about how she’s best friends with James Franco and will consider playing Glinda in the new Oz movie if her “best friend” is involved. HAHAHA. The shit that comes out of that crazy ho’s mouth. Some ignis fatuus shit to the tenth degree.

It’s sort of like if I held court at a table of no one at the Olive Garden and mouth farted about how I’m going to decorate the guest room in the charming Cape Cod beach house Anderson Cooper is going to buy for us after our wedding. I mean, I’m nuts, but I’ve never done that. (Note to the Olive Garden waiter side-eye-ing that sentence: You don’t know what you saw! You lie! Shut your eyes! Shut your fingers! Just shut it!)

Page Six says that LiLo talked about playing Victoria Gotti even though it’s not a done deal yet. LiLo then said she wants the female role in Oliver Stone’s Savages and will consider playing Glinda in Oz: The Great and Powerful. LiLo kept the laughs going when she went on to say, “I’ll only do the movie if I can work with [James Franco]. We’re like best friends. We’re hanging out later.” FYI: Blake NotSoLively is in talks for both of the roles LiLo has her good eye on.

A source tells Page Six that the producers of Oz have never and will never consider LiLo for Glinda.

I would feel sorry for LiLo, but my emotions are currently occupied with other things: namely, laughing. I can totally picture White Oprah cold calling up the casting directors of high-profile projects to politely thank them for considering LiLo for the lead role, but unfortunately she’s got too much on her plate at the moment: namely, coke.

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