Afternoon Crumbs

Brangelina look like they’ve just finished a strenuous 12-hour heroin binge in a poorly insulated backyard shed with no air conditioning. Somebody hug their faces with blotting paper! – Lainey Gossip

Flamer in a porn store alert. This is why you shouldn’t use lighter fuel as lube. – Boston Barstool Sports

Jennifer Lawrence giving her best “dead hooker on the side of the road” face in GQ – The Superficial

Whatever it is Fergie injects into her face is starting to migrate – Hollywood Tuna

The Hulk will be furry if Mark Ruffalo can help it – Towleroad

“I wish I was as skinny as you.” – a chopstick to Kate Bosworth’s leg (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Joaquin Phoenix will rise from his burnt beard ashes with a little help from Xenu – Celebitchy

The only way Rebecca Black’s Friday could be more soul killing worse is if Lea Michele sang it. Nightmare granted. – Just Jared

….as PedoBear serenades this Tweet with an acoustic rendition of “It Must Be Love” – TDW

The lady behind Hayden Pantawhatever is wondering how she fucks on her Redwood tree of a boyfriend – Popoholic

Prince Von A Hole’s latest stunt queen move – ICYDK

What in the name of Clockwork Orange is Cameron Diaz wearing? – Popsugar

Yes, this sitcom character kid has moves, but damn, the Apple dude who shut down his dreams is hot – The Berry

$30,000 check made out to cash and a hit from a crack pipe not included – OMG Blog

Please double punch me in the eyes for mistaking this for Christina Hendricks at first – Cityrag

Courteney Cox shows David Arquette that two can play the TMI game – I’m Not Obsessed

Beyonce’s back up dancers look like they are fresh off the runaway of a low budget mall fashion show – Hollywood Rag