GOOPY Has Flaws?!
Fishsticks Paltrow admits that contrary to the fact that her picture is next to the word "perfect" in Webster's Dictionary, the Baccarat crystal facade that covers her is riddled with imperfections! This is like finding out that swans queef. MIND BLOWN. Instead of just straight telling you what Fishy's main flaw is, let's play a game. Below are 8 possibilities for you to choose from. GO!
a) Sometimes she sneezes in an American accent.
b) She once watched a McDonald's commercial in its entirety and didn't roll her eyes once.
c) Whenever her polenta (which she grounds herself using organic corn from her roof garden) refuses to not be lumpy, she whispers into its lumps: "Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."
d) She made the decision to marry Chris Martin.
e) When she takes a day trip to India to meditate with the Dalai Lama on a grassy knoll in the hills of McLeodganj, her stubborn British tongue makes it impossible for her to say "thank you" in Tibetan without an accent.
f) Her shit "plops" instead of "dings" when it hits the toilet water.
g) Her palate can't tell the difference between Evian and Volvic.
h) She doesn't get an allergic reaction in the form of a crotch rash when she puts on a pair of polyester panties.
If you answered, "ALL OF THEM," you're probably right, but Fishy only admitted one to USA Today in an interview. Fishy went with "c." Fishy wishes that everything she touched turned to perfection and it kills her that it doesn't. Of course. Midas is laughing his ass off at her right now.
"One of my most negative qualities is the perfectionism that I have, and I think that I unconsciously project that because it comes from self-doubt and insecurity and that's the ironic part. I'm so deeply flawed. I'm just a normal mother with the same struggles as any other mother who's trying to do everything at once and trying to be a wife and maintain a relationship. There's absolutely nothing perfect about my life, but I just try hard."
Fishy shouldn't be so hard on herself. Especially, because at last night's Shine On event (judging by her greasy ass face, she obviously thought it was a theme), she was every shade of perfect. Looking like a lubed-up uncut peen with extra droopy foreskin while posing with Meryl Streep and Kathy Ireland = PERFECTION.
Wireimage (Thanks, Lucy)
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I would never think about her at all if it wasn't for articles about how annoying she is. Let's boycott this chick.
http://soundcloud.com/burning_plastic
http://twitter.com/#!/burning_plastic
Shit, I couldn't even name my biggest flaw...too many.
I will say that I can't wait for Chris to dump this fucking sorority sister.
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I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
AGGGHHHHH!!!! Ok...
I can't believe there are people who actually defended her after Eater and Jezebel ran a few quotes from her cookbook. People were defending her and asking why there was so much hate for Gwyneth. REALLY?! REALLY!!!??? Those assholes need to read both posts put up by MK today because if they don't know why we knock her then there is something wrong with this world.
Is it me or is Goopy's face getting bigger with age? Its like her features are just getting ginormous or her skull is shrinking. And she has shitty hair.
*******"Curtsy motherfuckers!" - Michael K. 04/30/10*******************
Submitted by kate773 on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 6:20pm.
Now I feel silly. Was that a total overshare or what?
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Nope - I am exactly the same way.
Different strokes for different folks I guess, hehehe!
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker
Now I feel silly. Was that a total overshare or what?
Don't feel bad. It's the only way I can have one, unless Im using something that requires batteries. And I love when a guy goes down on me, but I've never cum that way. :(
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Ok, since we're sharing, I'm exactly the opposite. Going down on me? My bf can get me to finish in 5 minutes. Anything else requires a little manual stimulation if you catch my drift. Not his fault, it's just me.
I've never understood why anyone thinks she's great looking. Average at best, even in her prime. Her looks are based on being skinny (with saggy small breasts) and having straight blonde hair.
Submitted by bobbysue on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 4:25pm.
…. Her parents are both descended from immigrants; her father was a Polish Jew whose own father grew up dirty and neglected by his hoarding mother in the Bronx and Blythe is German, with a grandmother who left Barbados penniless and worked as a maid when she came to US.
Let's see:
"Her parents are both descended from immigrants"
Are your parents descended from Sioux, Apaches, Cree or anybody else still living in a reservation?
"her father was a Polish Jew whose own father grew up dirty and neglected by his hoarding mother in the Bronx"
So Gwyneth's grandfather was born in the USA —an American— and could give her father a better education than the one he got.
"Blythe is German, with a grandmother who left Barbados penniless and worked as a maid when she came to US"
German? Barbados? Is Rihanna German?? Again, a humble grandparent that reached a better social position through work.
There's really nothing to be ashamed about.
"She's rich because she's basically pimping herself out like KK…"
Well… thanks for revealing us the easy way to become rich. We don't need to play jackpot anymore.
Apparently in the world of Fishsticks being a self-absorbed cunt isn't regarded as an imperfection.
.
http://www.whosdatedwho.com/tpx_21333/marc-bolan/tpx_1652472
Submitted by fishsticksfan: "Bjork, my fandome is tongue in cheek."
I always thought so. Just having fun.
Still, your girl is exceeding the posts usually reserved for Leanne Rhimes. What is this world coming to?
I watched 'Iron Man' over the weekend and Fishy looked...dare I say it...HIPPY and VAGUELY LUMPY in the hippy area.
Should I write and tell her that, so she can add it to her list of imperfections?
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Fishy's head is so far up her own ass she speaks in tounges.
what the hell happened to her face?? Why is it so freaking shiny??? She is going into that weird plastic surgery zone were she is starting to look like someone else entirely...I still hate her no matter what she thinks she is admitting to...I think she needs to shut her mouth for about 50 plus years..cause every time she talks stupid drivel spills forth and she just reeks of cuntness.
So much FUG, there's nowhere to rest my eyes!
First of all, that dress. It looks like orthopedic evening wear. That merkin purse. And the shiny face. And the "I've got my period" hair. So much FUG!!
And mind you, this is someone who had natural beauty. I mean, she really had one of the most beautiful faces in Hollywood (I thought, at least). Now she looks like a cast member of Real Housewives of New York. WTF?
Submitted by OhPeterUrDlisted on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 1:33pm.
Gwyneth paltrow we love you!!!
Ignore these losers and clowns here who hates their miserable lives and picked on you....
Keep shining, dahling.........
who's we? O_o
and actually I'd ask that she stop shining because it makes her pores look big. pressed powder, girlfriend, pressed powder.
I like Chris Martin. Despite what most people think he's incredibly nice to his fans. However, I don't condone cheating on his wife, if he has. That's a dick move for sure. That would be some real shit, if they actually liked being together.
RUH-ROH. Bitch is starting to get a case of Meg Ryan Mouf.
What bugs me the most about this is that her worshippers are just going to figure that if they want to be as fabulously fabulous as Fishy, they just need to obsess more about perfection - when that is exactly the opposite of what is true. Contentment comes from being able to relax. Being able to accept flaws. Laughing at yourself. Letting messes happen.
I look at her severely ironed-out smooth hair and shiny Botoxed face and can see how fiercely she is resisting imperfection. It's palpable.
I bet she hasn't pooped naturally in an age.
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker
YES!!! You rule for this comment. Either they have very low expectations from life or they are completely, utterly delusional.
Submitted by bitchette on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:15am.
...and the ho's on FB 'oh i love my life, so in love, sooooooo LUCKY LIFE IS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL'...... i take bets (in my head) on how long until they lose their job/ hub leaves ect *snicker*
Submitted by OhPeterUrDlisted on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 1:33pm.
Gwyneth paltrow we love you!!!
Ignore these losers and clowns here who hates their miserable lives and picked on you....
Keep shining, dahling.........
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YEAH GWYNETH!!! cuz she totally reads this site. :D
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"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."-MK as Fishsticks
If perfectionism was this pretentious twat's "issue" she would know enough to REFRAIN from attempting to curry favor by revealing flaws that are actually little self-congratulatory compliments. She is relentlessly irritating. Not an opinion, a FACT. LOL
My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens...and weasels.
Gwyneth paltrow we love you!!!
Ignore these losers and clowns here who hates their miserable lives and picked on you....
Keep shining, dahling.........
I read recently that job interviewers hate it when a candidate spins a positive trait into the form of a negative one, the top being perfectionism. So I guess ol' Gwyneth is again annoying us and being "perfectly" aware of it.
Bjork, my fandome is tongue in cheek.
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"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."-MK as Fishsticks
You nailed it, bobbsue (sorry fishsticksfan!!).
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 1:06pm.
Is she still BFF with Madonna?
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No, she's all about Faith Hill and Jay-z now.
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"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."-MK as Fishsticks
Someone needs to tell this bitch she has another flaw ... SHE CAN'T SING!!!!!!! Stop giving her a platform. Plus, I am SO fucking sick of seeing her on Glee. She is not funny or entertaining.
Is she still BFF with Madonna?
Submitted by OhPeterUrDlisted: "Gwyneth paltrow is that girl in High School who have it all, and everybody hates her for that. You posters here are those haters who will never be her"
No, I think you're thinking of January Jones, the tall, perfect blonde who everyone hated because she's pretty.
While there's something about her I find intriguing, still have to point out again that she has done an excellent job propagating the myth (as has the media) that she is some sort of blue-blood, "aristocratic" (!!), highly-educated individual. She is none of these things. She did attend private secondary school in NYC but holds no further or advanced degrees. She publicly dug up her family genealogy on that NBC show "Who do you think you are?". Ironically, she doesn't seem to really know. Her parents are both descended from immigrants; her father was a Polish Jew whose own father grew up dirty and neglected by his hoarding mother in the Bronx and Blythe is German, with a grandmother who left Barbados penniless and worked as a maid when she came to US. Gwynnie's accent is put-on and she works hard at seeming to be almost everything she is not. Sadly, acting "talent" to boot. She's rich because she's basically pimping herself out like KK...Disappointing.
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:50pm.
ah, a kindred spirit.
my sympathies.
how DO you find the time and energy to fulfill your duties as THE personal, professional and moral standard-bearer for humanity while raising gorgeous blond multilingual children and sucking nothing but A-list dick? AND your polenta's smooth? I'd be jealous but jealousy is for Wal-Mart shoppers.
Well, it is most difficult to find the time, between my charity events and yacht club outings. I tell you, it's not easy being one of the Chosen.
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:42pm.
I suffer from the same problem. Also, my polenta is unfailingly smooth every single time.
ah, a kindred spirit.
my sympathies.
how DO you find the time and energy to fulfill your duties as THE personal, professional and moral standard-bearer for humanity while raising gorgeous blond multilingual children and sucking nothing but A-list dick? AND your polenta's smooth? I'd be jealous but jealousy is for Wal-Mart shoppers.
;D
I'm not even interested in my own flaws enough to list them.
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"Why won't you be perfect? Stop being so fat and lumpy. I fucking hate you, you cunt polenta."-MK as Fishsticks
She probably acts like she's in pilates class while she's having sex with her husband. Dumb bitch probably wants to break a sweat - one, two, one, two, three, to the left, to the right, jump, then back, to the front.....I just can't with her.
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
joking aside, my biggest flaw today is that my hair looks like goopy's right now :(
Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:38pm.
my biggest flaw is that I have no flaws...it's such a burden being heart-achingly, jaw-droppingly perfect 24/7.
I suffer from the same problem. Also, my polenta is unfailingly smooth every single time.
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"Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee." - Dave Grohl
my biggest flaw is that I have no flaws...it's such a burden being heart-achingly, jaw-droppingly perfect 24/7.
:D
Someone please slap her. Please!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
If Hollywood wants me to skip a movie, put Jennifer Anniston or Goops in it. One I can't stand as an actress and the other I can't stand as a person ... wait ... which is which?
those eyes have been worked on.
kudos to her for not using that Makeup Forever HD powder that makes it look like you were making out with Poppin Fresh when you take a pic with a flash, but my dear, pssssssst...a little pressed powder goes a long way...jussayin'.
She looks like ass in these pics. Shriveled, decrepit ASS.
And that flat, greasy hair reminds me of my 8th grade yearbook picture. NOT. DESIRABLE.
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"When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat."
What the hell is up with her tit's???
The Fishy threads are always blowing up! 177 posts!
ETA: when will she announce the divorce? I feel it coming...
I don't think Braneloonies like Gwyneth because of the ex-fiance factor.
Submitted by OhPeterUrDlisted on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:00pm.
Gwyneth paltrow is that girl in High School who have it all, and everybody hates her for that.
You posters here are those haters who will never be her........
*****
You don't happen to post elsewhere as OhPeterUrJustJared, do you?
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The physical appearance of the please makes no difference.
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:47am.
@ Jack - maybe I'm one of your ex's!
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It sounds like you certainly could be....
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Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer – and another one
Submitted by OhPeterUrDlisted on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 12:00pm.
Gwyneth paltrow is that girl in High School who have it all, and everybody hates her for that.
You posters here are those haters who will never be her........
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*jumping up and down clapping* Which girl were you in HS?! :) Also, I've been looking for a good Gwyneth fansite. What do you recommend? *waits for new best friend*
Gwyneth paltrow is that girl in High School who have it all, and everybody hates her for that.
You posters here are those haters who will never be her........
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:26am.
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:18am.
My biggest flaw is I've never been able to have an orgasm with penetration alone!
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Don't feel bad. It's the only way I can have one, unless Im using something that requires batteries. And I love when a guy goes down on me, but I've never cum that way. :(
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Thanks, I feel better. I can totally get the deed done, but not by the old missionary method. Too bad because I hear women talk about how they cum three times in a row just having sex with their boyfriends and I get jellis :(
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:48am.
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 04/13/2011 - 11:40am.
****
I'm so incredibly hot for you right now.
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Thank you *blush*
Is it A) due to the breast milk, B) due to my torture of men or C) you're just having a "Pat O'Brien" kind of day....?
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Dark-sided!