Vanessa Hudgens Hates The Internet

April 11, 2011 / Posted by:

If it were up to Vanessa Hudgens, we’d all be staring at random live cats for hours hoping they do something funny and writing in our “SGM lkg 4 big peen” personal ads to the local newspaper, because the Internet would not be a thing that exists in real life! Correction: My ad would really read “SGM lkg 4 big penis,” because the word “peen” would not exist if it wasn’t for the Internet. If that isn’t a sad, I don’t know what is.

For some strange unknown reason, People Magazine (via Starpulse) asked Zac Efron’s former lipstick holder what she thinks the worst invention is. Vanessa didn’t say camera phones or the self timer button, Vanessa said THE INTERNET! Al Gore isn’t going to fap to Vanessa’s leaked naked pictures anymore!

“I know what the worst invention ever is. The internet. I think it’s ruining everyone, and it just makes everybody way too accessible – it just takes away the glamor and mystery from our business.”

Vanessa took the mystery from her business when she took a grainy picture of her furry pussy and e-mailed it out to whomever. Speaking of those pictures, Vanessa told The L.A. Times that she’s trying to move on from that shit even though someone keeps leaking more and more nudes, “The fact that somebody keeps bringing up the past is just selfish. I mean, it sucks. I already released a statement the first time it happened. It’s just unfortunate that it keeps reminding people about the past and not the present.

Vanessa Hudgens has the acting skills of one of Zac Efron’s used makeup wedges, so 99% of her fame was built by her relationship (which was mostly documented on THE INTERNET) and those nekkid ass nekkid pictures (which were only seen on THE INTERNET). So if it wasn’t for the Internet, most of our brains would burp out a question mark at the sound of her name and the only job she’d have is dancing in the chorus of a production of High School Musical at Disneyland Iran. No Internet = No Vanessa Hudgens. Wait. Maybe the dumbass does have a point after all. SHUT IT DOWN!

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