Celebrity Apprentice: Where Was Dionne Warwick When We Really Needed Her?

The hot cloud of rage that Meat Loaf spewed at Gary Busey last week must’ve wafted up NeNe Leakes’ rotated nostrils last night, because she hit the bell and went after Detective La Toya Jackson with a vengeance. Before all of this went down, the women’s team won the challenge over the men’s team even though La Toya’s leadership skills were as broke down as Mark McGrath’s corroded nostrils (there really are a lot of fucked up nostrils on that show). During the challenge and in the board room, NeNe let it be known to everyone that she’s not a fan of Bubbles’ godmother and thinks La Toya is just putting on a precious little princess act. When Trump dismissed them after their win, NeNe pulled out her nuts and nearly blew the silicone cartilage out of La Toya’s nose.

NeNe kept calling La Toya “Casper” and said that she’s only famous because of her last name. This coming from a bitch who is famous for absolutely NOTHING. Don’t get me wrong, I want NeNe to narrate my funeral because she’s such a bitch, but she committed an illegal act when she went after the forever precious Detective La Toya for pretty much no reason. NeNe only puffed her chest, because she’s trying to be the resident bitch now that grand daddy cunt Dionne Warwick is gone. But if Dionne was there, she would’ve shut down that Alice the Goon looking ho down with the wave of a finger and the slight flare of a nostril. NeNe needs to stay sitting and know her place before Dionne pops her head through one of the ceiling tiles to say, “You a coward, baby.”

And besides that, Detective La Toya is not the one EVER. La Toya’s got her monocle out and she’s going to get to the bottom of the skeleton’s in NeNe’s closet. She’s going to find some shit out. I can’t wait for next week’s episode when Detective La Toya destroys NeNe by revealing that she was really born a Dominican boy named Neethanel Fugas.