Is England Going To Send This Sexy Face Back To Jail?

Here’s the always sexy Pete “Dreamboat” Doherty suffocating the grease-eating pore dwellers on his scalp by wearing an upside down barristers’ wig outside of court in London yesterday. Oh, that Dreamy’s always making a joke out of the British justice system one way or another! The scab crust on my heart was at his home away from the crackhouse yesterday to face charges for cocaine possession in connection with a socialite’s death. Dreamy might’ve given her the 8 ball that took her over the edge. Dreamy bit the guilty bullet and will go back to court on May 20th for sentencing.

The judge let Dreamy know that because his criminal record is messy messy messy, he’s probably going to go to jail for a third time. The accommodations in the chokey are nicer and more luxurious than the ones in Dreamy’s own house (aka a tent made from old coats under a bridge), but he’s not going there. In this day and age, no judge is going to put that precious face behind bars. Thanks to the royal wedding, all eyes are on England. They want to parade their prized beauties in front of the world, so he’s not going anywhere.

And never mind that the wig on Dreamy’s head looks better than Brit Brit’s weave, he really isn’t right for taking that shit. That’s a health violation on every level. I’m sure the barrister put that wig back on her head before going back inside. Mutant lice are now running rampant all over the court house and they’ll have to shut that shit down for fumigation for MONTHS! Wait. Maybe that was all part of Dreamy’s plan after all. Naw. He just wanted to give everyone a quick tingle by accentuating his succulent jowls with that blonde wig.