Matt Lauer Won’t Get Out Of Bed For Less Than $25 Million A Year

For the past couple of days, there’s been a rumor going around that the role of Meredith Vieira will most likely be played by Ann “Three Times A Good Morning Lady” Curry and the role of Matt Lauer will soon be up for grabs when the both of them leave The Today Show. Meredith wants to spend more time with her family and no reason was given as to why Matt is looking to take his glib act elsewhere. But TMZ says Matt is just batting his eyes and playing hard to get. Matt isn’t looking to leave Today, but he is looking to get a fatter wad of cash stuffed into the waistband of his chonies. Matt wants NBC to make it rain millions all over his bald head. $25 million to be exact.

A source type says that Matt currently makes $17 million a year, but thinks he should make more due to the fact that he’s been on the show for so long and it’s been #1 in the mornings for 15 years straight.

The only bitch on morning television who deserves $25 million a year is whoever has to take the notes during The View’s brainstorming (more like brainkilling) meetings. And the brave soul who has to wrestle the wine bottle out of Kathie Lee Gifford’s arms when she passes out on the futon in her dressing room. Matt is crazy. How many more millions does Matt need? Does he have a child who can only eat diamonds due to a condition? Is Matt being blackmailed by someone who will expose his past as a 19-year-old heroin dealing fugitive (Yes, I watched that Oprah shit yesterday) unless he gives them $8 million a year? Thanks to Matt Lauer’s greedy ass ways, NBC will have to fire the NBC peacock and replace it with an NBC pigeon instead. Actually, that sounds like a hot idea.