It’s not common knowledge, but when Julia Child was out promoting Mastering the Art of French Cooking she tried to drum up sales by stuffing her body into a nipple baring tuxedo typically worn by a slutty baby to the funeral of a burlesque emcee. You know, it worked! Eva Longoria figured that if it worked for one of the most famous chefs in the world, it can work for her too! So she fixed herself up like a Blonde Ambition back-up singer and sat down with Letterman to talk about her new cookbook “Eva’s Kitchen.” And while doing so, we pretty much saw what’s cooking in Eva’s coochen and more. Eva practically served up labia empanadas and Spanish olive nipples. Just spilling her ingredients out all over the place!
My favorite FAVORITE favorite part is at the 3:20 mark when Letterman is talking about whatever and Eva glances at the monitor, tugs at her jacket and coos out: “OH MY GEE! My breasts must be happy to see you! OH ME OH MY! I wanna be loved by you! OOOH! Boob boob de doop!”
GIRL! The last time I checked Jayne Mansfield did not appoint you as her successor, so just stop! Don’t act like you weren’t rehearsing that all afternoon up in your hotel. 1…2…3…FLASH! 1…2..3….GIGGLE!