A Morning Laugh From White Oprah!

April 7, 2011 / Posted by:

All of the paps who get an annual holiday card (aka a T.G.I. Friday’s paper napkin with the link to the GPS in her ass written on the back) from White Oprah are gently weeping into their camera’s eyepiece today, because a famewhore they thought was their friend has spoken out against them! White Oprah is making all of us snort out a snot full of laughs by branding herself the country’s foremost anti-paparazzi activist. The momster who only survives on camera flashes, coke crumbs that fall out of her daughter’s nose and bullshit-tinis told Radar that an incident with the paparazzi in NYC convinced her that there needs to be stricter laws protecting celebrities from crazed photographers.

White Oprah said that the police were called to Lindsay Lohan’s hotel after a paparazzo’s car smashed into her SUV. After LiLo got over the initial shock that it wasn’t her who did the smashing for once, she realized it was a dangerous situation to be in. And White Oprah is blaming the paps for this and thinks stalker laws should be used against them. Bitch is a regular Martin DeLusioner King Jr. (it’s early, okay):

“It is really dangerous. It truly makes the case for stalker laws. In Manhattan, it is even more dangerous because the streets are tight and there are so many people on the sidewalks.

Lindsay called us because she was panicked about the paparazzi chasing them again. I’m not as worried about her because we have an amazing driver and she is in a huge car, but I am concerned about all the pedestrians on the street corners.”

White Oprah continues to be the voice of reason! She’s right. There should be laws protecting pedestrians from getting ran over by speeding cars driven by paps. Just like there should be stricter laws protecting toddlers from becoming adorable amputees because a crackhead swiped their adorable legs off with her Maserati.

That being said, I really can’t wait to see White Oprah chanting “Hell no, we won’t go!” on the steps of congress. And I’m not talking about watching her throw a tantrum after last call outside of a bar called Congress on Long Island. I can see that any morning of the week.

Meanwhile, TMZ says that LiLo is in FINAL TALKS for a role in the new Gotti biopic starring John Travolta. That only means that the producers hung up on White Oprah after 3 seconds instead of 1 second like usual.

And here’s doing the paparazzi strut through LAX last night.

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