For a girl who always acts like she’s a pristine Pollyanna who blushes every time a gentlemen caller compliments her on the ivory lace petticoat poking out from under her dress, Taylor Swift rolls through hot piece after hot piece like a seasoned speed dater on speed. You can’t fully dim THE SQUINT! It’s as if Taylor is only going out with these dudes for the deduction, because she knows she’s going to use them to write a soon-to-be worldwide #1 hit. The IRS remains impressed.
UsWeekly says that Taylor is writing a song inside of the sofa cushion fort in the middle of her living room about Country Strong star Garrett (Gimme)Hedlund. After exchanging e-mails for a while, Taylor and Garrett finally had dinner together in Nashville on April Fool’s Day. A source (aka the intern at Garrett’s pr office) said, “It was their first time going out. They’ve been emailing for a while, and she hinted they should get together.” Taylor didn’t invite Garrett over for some tea and pastries from her Easy Bake Oven, because he was back at his hotel by 12:30am. The source went on to say, “AND DON’T FORGET! TRON STARRING GARRETT HEDLUND IS OUT ON DVD AND BLU-RAY NOW!”
Not only is the IRS impressed, but so am I. Taylor continues to date the who’s who of gay-themed blind items. I mean, Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Chord Overstreet and now Garrett Hedlund? Truth is, I don’t think Garrett is a down low peen lover, but he’s making a good case for it by dating this generation’s Liza Minnelli, Taylor Swift.
If Garrett wore those leopard pants to waltz with a giant unicorn-shaped butt plug to an ABBA song sung by Clay Aiken, I would shout out, “NOT CONVINCED!” But if Garrett is photographed holding hands with Taylor, we’d all say together, “GAY!”