Bringing A Whole New Meaning To “Touch My Body”

April 6, 2011 / Posted by:

We’d expect nothing less from the forever elegant crystal unicorn princess and she knows this. So Mimi said “Poof!” to Vogue, dismissed Vanity Fair and instead chose to bare her overgrown butterfly cocoon for the cover of the tastemaking periodical of class that is Life & Style Weekly. When we all think of the words “life” and “style,” we automatically think of double knocked up Mimi airing her lamb pit out while wearing a wavy hair bra, so this is a perfect fit.

Mimi gets nekkid ass nekkid for her drivers license photo, so we knew this day was coming. To be honest, I was kind of hoping that Mimi would save it for a limited-edition Lisa Frank folder sold in select Walgreens, but this is a good second choice.

Mimi tells Life & Style that even though she wasn’t feeling totally camera ready fresh (Can I get an extra sparkly “HO, PLEASE”?), she knew she wanted to share this special Care Bear Stare with the world, so she dropped her pink satin marabou robe, brought her best eyebrow game and worked it like an Awkward Family Photos desk calendar model. Mimi cooed this out after the shoot:

“I was feeling very vulnerable about taking pictures at all right now, but then I didn’t want to miss this opportunity to document this once-in-a-lifetime experience. My ultimate goal was to share this incredibly personal moment with my true fans.

The babies were kicking almost the entire time; it was unbelievable. Especially the girl — clearly she’s a diva in training! We didn’t start shooting until 1:30 a.m. because I was in the hospital from the night before until the day of the shoot with contractions five minutes apart!

Now I have so much respect for mothers everywhere, especially those who’ve had difficult pregnancies or given birth to multiples. We need to have Mother’s Day once a week!”

Why do I have a feeling that knocked up hos everywhere are going to request “The Mimi Set-Up” at Glamour Shots and Sears Portrait Studios all around the country? Sears better stock extra clip-on polyester falls just in case. Speaking of, that hair sort of makes Mimi look like what happened after Lady totally swallowed the Tramp’s noodle and more.

And no, we don’t need a Mother’s Day once a week, but we definitely need a Mimi Gets Naked Day once a week, because this is a refined work of understated art (add an “f” to art if you feel the need).

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