Rosie O’Donnell Is On Team Breezy

April 4, 2011 / Posted by:

No, I’m not talking about the Team Breezy that came in fourth place in the international queef championships. Not this time, anyway. Rosie O’Donnell came to Chris Brown’s defense on her Sirius radio show today when she said that Good Morning America’s Robin Roberts should’ve taken half of the blame for Urkel Rodman Hulk-ing out and beating a window with a chair. Rosie feels Chris’ pain and seems to think that the media is trying to poke the rage out of him even though he’s paid his debt to society. If Rosie O’Donnell is trying to make miss the days when she called Tommy Girl “a cutie patootie” and gave away Happy Meal toys to her audience members, it’s working. This is what Rosie had to say this morning in Chris’ defense:

On how Charlie Sheen is a hero (no, he’s not) and Chris Brown is Satan’s mutated Q-tip: “I don’t know why this kid seems to be held to a different standard than anybody else.”

On how the questions about Rihanna triggered the Meat Loaf in Chris Brown: “I felt mildly angry at Robin Roberts. I felt like writing her and going: ‘Can you take a look at this again and see if maybe you find — in any way — your responsibility in this?'”

On how she doesn’t blame Chris for murdering a chair and a window: “Part of me wanted to take a chair and throw it through the window at The View after all that happened. But, you know, there are no windows down there in that rat-infested cellar. Remember that cellar we were in?” O’Donnell said to her radio producer. There were no windows. It was like a prison.”

Rosie O defended herself on Twitter after some of her followers questioned her comments:

@MaxiamMomEsq – if u listened to the conversation on the radio program – u would have a better understanding of my point of view – the post?

@HollywoodDebi he was held accountable – he did his service – the judge commended him – he grew up in a violent home – he is only 21 –

@shyladare @HollywoodDebi – i dont think i am – i have compassion for both he and rhianna – its is not a simple discussion – layers n layers

@shyladare @HollywoodDebi – he is a victim too

Here we fucking go. We’re still on the Charlie Sheen vs. Chris Brown thing? Rosie and other bitches like her keep saying that we’re holding up the warlock prince on a throne made of troll bones while kicking Chris Brown into the gutter below. They must be watching a totally different movie than I am. Charlie is out of a job and is getting booed at his own sold-out joke of a show. Chris has the #1 album in the country, millions of fans and is still getting invited into green rooms everywhere even though he pretty much destroyed one. They’re both hardcore assholes, they both have supporters, they both have haters and they’re both doing just fine.

One of the differences is that almost every time somebody asks Chris a question he doesn’t like, he throws a full body tantrum and takes it out on innocent victims (see: the chair at GMA). Chris should just take a page from Britney Spears’ PR playbook and stop doing live interviews if certain questions hurt him in his BOO FUCKING HOO place. You’d think Chris is a fragile porcelain baby bunny because of how he gets so hurt over simple questions. Guess what, Chris? Fragile porcelain baby bunnies don’t break windows when they get butthurt.

So, Rosie needs to update her files, because most of us (I took a poll) think that both Charlie and Chris are awful fucking cunts. Equally. And after Rosie does that, can she please get in my kitchen! Her face has the exact complexion I’d like the top of my lasagna to have.

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