Looking Good, Michael Lohan

April 2, 2011 / Posted by:

If Michael Lohan thinks the paparazzo’s flash (which I’m sure he ordered from one-touch dialing) are abusing his douche syrup-covered retinas, then he needs to see it from this side. My eyes are cringing and my hand is in defense mode at the sight of his turtleneck (stolen from White Oprah who bought it at a Dress Barn sidewalk sale), jeans (Bugle Boys bought from TSS in 1987, I shouldn’t hate), matching cowboy boots and signature cell phone waistband carrier case. From the waist up, this shit says: “I’m trying to look like someone actually gave me a hickey.” From the waist down, it says: “factory outlet Billy Ray Cyrus.”

The chick with Michael Lohan must have a funny way of showing she’s a star fucker or she just arrived from the Midwest circa 1991 where ribbed turtlenecks and jeans like that are commonly seen. Ho has a lot of explaining to do to her family members.

And for some reason, I feel like The Lonely Island’s new single goes perfectly with these pictures of Michael Lohan riding shot gun on the famewhore train in L.A. last night.

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