Christie Carr and her disabled 1-year-old red kangaroo Irwin from Broken Arrow, Oklahoma! Christie already won me over with her light blue frosted eyeshadow and bangs that give me the whisper of a White Rain, but she took me over the edge with her love for her handicapped kangaroo friend Irwin! Christie was in a sad way when she first adopted Irwin’s injured ass from an animal shelter and he quickly showed her the true meaning of life. No, Irwin didn’t hop towards a platter with a Showgirls DVD, a bong and deep fried Oreos on it. Irwin showed her how to love again! It’s like a love story written on Jerry O’Connell and Anthony Anderson’s heart strings.
But there is a dark cloud over this tale, officials (damn those officials) in Broken Arrow are afraid that Irwin will wreak havoc in their town when he gets full grown. They have it on good authority (they watched Crocodile Dundee once) that Irwin will grow to be 7 feet tall and weigh at least 200 pounds. Aren’t most people in Oklahoma 7 feet tall and weigh 200 pounds (I watched a community theater production of Oklahoma! once)? But whatever, they are concerned about a diaper-wearing disabled kangaroo who is showing others how to love life again! Ridiculous!
The city council will vote on Irwin and Christie’s fate on April 19th. If those evil ass evils banish Irwin (I mean, how can you banish an IRWIN?!) from their town, then they really need to change their name to Breaking Hearts, Oklahoma.
via The Hairpin