You know that feeling when someone you truly love with whatever is left of your heart and soul says something hurtful, confusing and a little threatening? Like when you were in high school and your parents told you not to fuck or snort coke under their roof. Yeah, like that. Well, that feeling slithered into my skin holes this morning when Prince Hot Ginge said the three dreaded words NOBODY wants to hear. No, I’m not talking about the words “I can’t cum” or “it’s last call.” I’m talking about: OVER THE MOOOOOOOON. How could the sparkle that makes my peen hole wink hurt all of us so!?Not only did he hurt us, but he also hurt the sun by bringing up the moon’s name. Because we all know that PHG is a piece of the sun that fell to the earth one morning. What does it look like when the sun frowns, because it’s going to be doing a lot of that today.
During an interview in Norway with Good Morning America for his Walking with the Wound trek through the North Pole, PHG dropped an OTM bomb when describing how his father feels about Prince William getting married. At the 5:40 mark below:
As much as it hurts, I will forgive PHG for this (BIG OF ME, I know). It’s colder than a Nicole Kidman stare in Norway right now, so maybe the elements are fucking with his brains. The part of his brain marked “things you don’t say in public” temporarily got mixed up with the part marked “things you do say in public” (examples: “kittens are cute” and “I only do gay sex stuff with American hapas”).
I’m glad we worked this out, because I really didn’t want to make my PHG cardboard cutout sleep on the couch tonight.