While pushing that Kennedys miniseries on Ellen, Katie Holmes brought up the paparazzi picture of Suri Cruise holding a box of Penis Gummies at Serendipity in NYC. Most of figured that Suri was just being a mindful daughter by bringing her daddy something she always sees in his candy drawer. Stepford Katie says that she thought they were Swedish Fish at first and no she wasn’t making a Britt Ekland vagina joke. No.
Katie also couldn’t bring her lips to push out the word PENIS without spelling it letter by letter. Katie lets Suri wear high heels and takes her out at midnight, but yet she doesn’t want her to hear the word PENIS?! But you know, Katie has a really good reason for that. She knows that if she says “penis” out loud, there’s a really good chance the ground will shake, lube bottles will roll and Tommy Girl’s Scientolohole will come galloping out and chopping at the bit. Katie is just playing it safe. And here’s what she had to say about that box of Gummy Bear dicks (via HuffPo):
“Recently, I took her to get ice cream in New York at this place called Serendipity that we go to all the time. It’s for kids. The clientele is children. We go in and we are waiting for a table and she grabs some gummies that are boy part gummies. I was horrified.
They are called p-e-n-i-s gummies and they look like it. She was holding the box and I was like ok, wow we don’t need that right now. Because I thought if I said put that back and then she’s going to say, what is this? And I really didn’t want to have that conversation. I was like, why are selling these here? This is for kids. And then it was on the cover of a magazine that I’m giving her those gummies.”
Did anybody ever think that maybe Katie had no idea what a P-E-N-I-S looks like? It’s not like she runs into them all the time in her daily life. I bet one of her handlers had to pull her aside and give her “the talk” right there. It’s an honest mistake.