Why The Hell Did Colin Farrell Read A Poem At Elizabeth Taylor’s Funeral?

At Elizabeth Taylor’s funeral last week, Colin Farrell read a poem to a crowd of mourners making “….the fuck is he doing here?” faces while wondering if he’ll do their funerals too for a fee. Unfortunately, you can’t hire Colin to read a poem of your choosing at your funeral. Colin tells Access Hollywood that the reason he was there is pretty damn simple: they were friends! No, Colin wasn’t in training to join Elizabeth’s ex-husband harem. They just got along and Elizabeth specifically wanted him to coo out poetry at her funeral.

Colin explained to Access Hollywood at CinemaCon in Las Vegas yesterday, “How did we become friends? You know, the old story of boy meets girl, and boy pesters girl with too many phone calls at inappropriate hours of the night. I was just lucky enough to become her friend in the last year and a half. I adore her… still. Elizabeth chose it (the poem Gerard Manley’s “The Leaden Echo and the Golden Echo“). It was a tricky poem as well. Even in passing she had me under the thumb, sweating bricks. She asked someone else to ask me [to read it]. I just miss her; I just miss her; I just miss her.”

Colin didn’t mention this, but Elizabeth also requested that he read the poem while only wearing her good luck white diamond clip-on earrings on his nipples.

You can add this to the reasons why you would let Colin Farrell eat the last spoon full of Thrifty’s ice cream in your freezer after he hits it from the back. Not only do his pores secrete whiskey-flavored lube, but he also befriends old legends and reads poems at their funerals. AND Colin’s brows look just like a pair of woolly bear caterpillars. But unlike woolly bears, it won’t sting when his brows piss on your finger. So add that to the list!