Why, Hello There, Rob Lowe

March 29, 2011 / Posted by:

Let’s not focus on the fact that Rob Lowe’s hair is giving me flashes of Justin Bieber’s sophomore mop. Let’s redirect on our energy on the fact that it’s been a while since we’ve seen Rob Lowe’s nipples and barely there patch of chest fur in a magazine. So take off your pants and get your horny out like it’s the night before the Democratic National Convention. But Rob isn’t only on the cover of Vanity Fair so that you can get reacquainted with his happy trail and bust out a reunited scoot on this picture. Ro Blow is also peddling an autobiography called “Stories I Only Tell My Friends.” Rob read a few passages for VF’s podcast and included a couple of stories about shooting The Outsiders with Tom Cruise and Charlie Sheen. And guess what? Our Tommy Girl was always as methodical as a serial killing robot with OCD. From Vanity Fair:

During the first round of auditions in Los Angeles, Lowe writes of meeting Tom Cruise, then a houseguest of the Sheens: “He’s open, friendly, funny, and has an almost robotic, bloodless focus and an intensity that I’ve never encountered before.” In New York for the second round of auditions, Lowe finds that Cruise is “already showing traits that will make him famous; he’s zeroed in like a laser.” “We check into the Plaza Hotel. I am taken aback at the luxury and spectacle of the lobby…. The front desk tells us we will be sharing rooms,” Lowe writes of the actors’ arrival in the Big Apple. “In a flash, Cruise is on the phone to his agent, Paula Wagner. ‘Paula, they are making us share,’ he says…. The rest of us are staggering around like happy goofs….. ‘O.K., then. Thank you very much,’ he says like a 50-year-old businessman getting off the phone with his stockbroker. ‘Paula says it’s fine.’ ”

Lowe remembers hanging out with Cruise and the other actors in a gymnasium on set, when Patrick Swayze—who, Lowe writes, “makes Tom Cruise look lobotomized”—“begins to teach us a standing backflip…. When it comes to flips, I’m a pussy. I don’t flip. I don’t even dive into a pool—straight cannonball for me…. No, thanks. Cruise, not surprisingly, is all over it. ‘How about this!’ he says, almost pulling it off without even being spotted. He wipes out, but tries it again immediately.”

Tommy is even careful about how he spends his ass orgasms!!! Tommy called up Paula to make sure that he was in fact sharing a fancy hotel room with a bunch of hot pieces of man meat. Once Paula confirmed this by transmitting an updated patch into his hard-drive through the phone lines, Tommy then allowed himself to bust a butt nut in his Underoos.

Now that we’ve gotten that TG tidbit out of the way, you can go back to gazing into Rob Lowe’s nips. No one is looking so go ahead and brush Rob’s pixel nips with your eyelashes. If someone does catch you, just tell them that you’re using your God given natural dusters to dust your monitor.

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