No More Of Joan Holloway’s Magnificent Chichis Until 2012

AMC announced today that Mad Men’s fifth season has been pushed into early 2012 and there’s a chance the show’s creator Matthew Weiner might not be the one pulling at Betty and Don’s strings anymore. In a conference room in L.A. somewhere, AMC and Matthew both have their pants around their ankles and are dick fighting over three things. AMC will pay Matthew $30 million over a 2 year period if he agrees to whore our products in each episode, fire or demote two regular cast members and cut two minutes off of each show to make way for more commercials. Product placement? You know, this isn’t such an awfully whorey idea, because I really want to see Betty Draper reenact this classic scene:

Deadline Hollywood says that Matthew is prepared to wok (Wanchai Ferry product placement alert) if AMC doesn’t drop the cheap fuck act. You know, I have a solution! AMC can save money by: a) stripping a few millions off of Matthew’s insane $30 million salary and b) stripping the clothes off certain characters since that’s what most of us are doing with our eyes anyway. Re-title it NUDE MEN and we’re off!

But Mad Men has to come back, because if it doesn’t AMC will play even more “classic films” like 1990’s Back to the Future Part III. Way to make me feel like I’m standing next to the O in OLD. At least with Mad Men, I can tell myself, “HAHAHA! That’s silly old timey stuff that I never lived.” But when I see Back to the Future Part III on AMC, I am reminded about how I watched it for the first time on opening night in the theaters. And a theater that didn’t have stadium seating. No, stadium seating didn’t always exist. Nuts, I know.