Daddy Knowles Is No Longer Beyonce’s Manager

March 28, 2011 / Posted by:

As Tina Knowles nearly shakes her wig off out of fear that she’ll see security walking down the hallway with empty cardboard boxes in their hands, Beyonce has announced that she has scratched the “Beyonce’s manager” part off of her daddy’s business card and shooed him away. Matthew Knowles services as Beyonce’s manager are no longer needed.

Daddy Knowles has been Beyonce’s manager since Destiny birthed out four yodeling wigs a long time ago! Matthew is the one who watered them with the sweat falling off his forehead from working the ho stroll and watched them grow into international superstars!!! Mathew is also the one who drove disobedient DC members into the middle of nowhere and pushed them out of the car with only a cold sack lunch in their hands when they tried to outshine Beyonce. And now, he’s out. AP brings the news that will singe every weave in Texas:

Beyonce’s publicist, Yvette Noel-Schure, told The Associated Press in a statement Monday that the Grammy-winning singer and her father have parted ways “on a business level.”

Knowles has managed his daughter since she debuted as a teen in the multiplatinum-selling group Destiny’s Child in the late 1990s and throughout her superstar career as a solo artist.

Beyonce says in the statement that she is grateful for the role her father has had in her career. She adds that “he is my father for life and I love my dad dearly.”

Solange’s full belly cackles will be busting the floor boards tonight! That’s until the basement door opens and she sees Matthew Knowles shuffling down the stairs with his head in his hands. The insulation in the basement is bad enough, and now she has to listen to Matthew muttering “fuckmylife” to himself all day and night.

And Papa Joe better log in to make sure his password is still good, because firing your daddy could be in the air.

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