Charlie Sheen Killed A Pug?!!!

The block in hell reserved exclusively for pug murderers just got a Charlie Sheen nameplate bonded to the bars of one of its cells, because TMZ is saying that a wrinkly faced dog is snoring in heaven thanks to the ash-fisted alley cat troll. Charlie Sheen spewed out this Tweet earlier this morning after his ex-wife Denise Richards refused to hand over the pug that was living at a house. It’s not that Denise is afraid the tiger blood in Charlie’s system will take over and he’ll eat the face off her pug. Denise is afraid that her pug will die of malnourishment after weeks of trying to survive on cigarette butts, shower water stuck between the tiles and old crack rock residue. This is what allegedly happened to Denise’s other pug. Yeah, I’m not even done telling this story and it’s already getting 5 out of 5 sad pugs:

When Denise and Charlie split up, she let him take care of her 2 pugs so that their daughters could play with them at his house during visits. The pugs were doing okay until Charlie’s chandelier-murdering breakout at the Plaza hotel. Shortly after that, Denise started hearing that her pugs weren’t being fed and were in a bad way. Denise rescued her dogs from Charlie, but sadly one died of malnourishment. And now Charlie wants the other pug to be the mascot of his tour bus, so he wants it back. Denise isn’t going to let that happen.

Julian Sands is the only warlock in my eyes, and he wears specially made silk gloves when he pets a pug out of fear that he’ll be too rough with it. And Charlie Sheen let one die a slow painful death?! If this is true, who in Satan’s cunt hell does he think he is? Ina Garten?!

I could sprain my finger tips from writing all the things that should happen to Charlie Sheen, but instead I’ll just say that I hope he comes back as one of Parasite Hilton’s dogs in his next life.