Prince Hot Ginge is about to put the Arctic through a greater test than global warming when the fiery halo of hot follicles on his head floats over the North Pole in a couple of weeks with the Walking with the Wounded team. The 200-mile expedition is to raise awareness and funds for service men and women who were severely injured while fighting in battle. The winds of the Arctic are pretty much pre-orgasming right now, because they’re about to get the heat of a ginge on their wisps.
In the May issue of GQ UK, PHG along with Private Jaco van Gass and Captain Guy Disney (no relation to Mickey Mouse), talk about how they are going to get shit done even though experts give them a 40 to 50 percent chance of completing their mission.
Royal Patron Prince Harry, who is joining the other eight men on the ice for up to a week, said in a message of support: “This extraordinary expedition will raise awareness of the debt that this country owes to those it sends off to fight – only for them to return wounded and scarred, physically and emotionally. The debt extends beyond immediate medical care and short-term rehabilitation. These men and women have given so much. We must recognise their sacrifice, be thankful, so far as we can ever repay them for it.”
During the exclusive photoshoot, Prince Harry commented: “Can I do most of my training wearing this thing in bed?” while examining one of the team’s weight vests – used primarily to strengthen upper-body hauling muscles. When it comes to having his photograph taken by David Bailey for the cover, his Royal Highness jokes “Well, so long as I can have one for the dartboard at home, I’m happy to oblige.”
Inge Solhiem, the expedition’s Polar Guide, adds “Harry’s training has been going very well: he has the right attitude. I’m sure Harry has healthy concerns about the dangers – as he should. You have no idea how different the pole is from everything else on the planet. The old Norwegian explorers called it the “devil’s dance floor”. It is unpredictable. Deadly. If you’re not paying attention it will just slap you… You can walk ten miles in one day, pitch your tent overnight, and the ice will have drifted you back eleven miles in the opposite direction.”
“The devil’s dance floor” is also glory hole nickname for my around-the-corner privates. If you’re not paying attention, it will slap you! But you know, Prince Hot Ginge and the rest of the team should not be concerned! Since he’s PHG, the penguins will hover around him like an egg, the polar bears will zip off their fur coats for him to wear, Santa Claus’ drunk ass will warm his insides with spiced absinthe and Snow Miser will entertain him with song. How do I know all of this? Well, you can ask me when you see me on a London street corner with my ass out and a sign that reads “North
Hole Pole Here” hanging over it.
And yes, I’m blogging this from a Kinko’s while waiting for this cover to print on a cotton body pillow case.