Lohan: “It’s A Name Of Integrity”

March 26, 2011 / Posted by:

Michael Lohan, seen here with runner-up for Miss Downriver Trash 2010 Bombshell McGee, is making a sad face over White Oprah’s claims that their daughters Lindsay and Ali are going to take a Magic Eraser to their last names. White Oprah violently humped on delusion when she said that Lindsay is a one name star like Beyonce and no longer needs the Lohan name. White Oprah also said that she’s going to start using her maiden name Sullivan, because the name “Lohan” is TAINTED! Notice how White Oprah is taking zero responsibility for helping to cover the Lohan name with seven layers of fuckery and coke saliva. Anyway, this was a direct swift kick to the swollen asshole on Michael’s soul and so of course he let out his feelings to his therapists at the New York Daily News.

“It’s a real shame Dina would make up this kind of story.

From the time she came out to California, she’s tried to put a wedge between Lindsay and me. Every time she comes around, she tries to put a wedge, and it’s only harmful to Lindsay and the children. This family needs therapy.”

I’m proud of the Lohan name. It’s a name of integrity. We all had very successful jobs on Wall Street. My father was an unbelievable provider. My sisters are pillars of the community. There’s not a blemish in my family outside of me.”

Well, when the blemish is a cutaneous abscess that has fully infected every letter of the name, I’d say that’s a pretty big blemish. You know, the Lohans should start fresh and all change their last names together. It will be a major family bonding experience. Since most of us use the phrase “is the fucking worst” to describe the Lohans, they can use that! Lindsay Isthefuckingworst. Has a nice ring to it. She can say it’s Austrian. Fancy!

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93 responses to “Lohan: “It’s A Name Of Integrity””

  1. angel_i says:

    Who the hell is “We all”? Does he even listen to himself? If his family is such a bunch of really super great people why wouldn’t he be happy to set them free of all this bullshit (that he fully admits to bringing on them, single handed)? I’m sure these fine upstanding citizens are no longer reaping any benefit from being related to Just Lindsay and would happily let her go.

    ♥ Threadkilla!
    Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
    ~Arthur Schopenhauer

  2. RustyHooligan says:

    That’s what I always say to Mom at Thanksgiving: “There’s not a blemish in my family outside of me.”

    ……………..
    “I’m against this sort of thing.”

  3. RustyHooligan says:

    Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Sat, 03/26/2011 – 3:33pm.

    Submitted by Mrs.TimDaly on Sat, 03/26/2011 – 3:28pm.
    What about changing it to something with a little more class and panache, like Gaddafy for example ?
    ________________________________________
    I was going to suggest she change her name to Lindsay Gaddafi-Sheen-Gibson-Bin Laden. There’s just too much stigma associated with Lohan.
    _____________________

    haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  4. stake_spike says:

    I guess on the plus side at least he admits he’s the one fucking up his name. While he and Dina both fucked up LezLo, she’s been spending the past decade with Dina, any recent problems she has obviously come from Dina and her ‘take no blame’ attitude.

  5. Jill-The-Ripper says:

    These two, together, kind of outdo each other in the art of ickyness. It’s like they’ve totally voided the other one out. I’m surprised they even show up in the photo. It’s like one of those hidden illusion pictures where you’re supposed to see a unicorn by a waterfall. But this one just shows two sacks of shit.

  6. johnnysgirl says:

    “There’s not a blemish in my family outside of me.”

    EXACTLY, you dumb fuck! The blemish is YOU! Generations of Lohans were probably just fine and dandy until you came along and fucked it all up.

    Congratulations, shit for brains!

    ………………………………………………………………………………….
    When life gives you lemons…slice ’em up, eat ’em. – Aunt Barbara http://www.youtube.com/user/AuntBarbara

  7. beakers bitch says:

    Why do Boobshit and the other idiots (the one porn star from the boxing thing) let this guy practically hump them and feel them up in these photo ops? Because he’s “Lindsay’s dad”? It’s not like he’s Pitt or Clooney or something. I want to see one ho knock him the fuck out when he grabs them like that. Although I guess they have to have dignity and self respect first.

    I’m still wondering about that pink tequila in the background.

  8. johnnysgirl says:

    Submitted by Jill-The-Ripper on Sat, 03/26/2011 – 3:42pm.

    @Jill, love your avie! I used to have the same one, but the little girl was chomping on a huge spider 😀

    ………………………………………………………………………………….
    When life gives you lemons…slice ’em up, eat ’em. – Aunt Barbara http://www.youtube.com/user/AuntBarbara

  9. M.E. says:

    Why does this picture look faker than fake?

  10. RustyHooligan says:

    Very successful jobs on Wall St.? He was a floor trader for ten mostly bullish years (1980-90), then got busted for insider trading and spent three years in jail. To the extent he had any success, trading on inside info may have helped a bit.

    ……………..
    “I’m against this sort of thing.”

  11. elanenergy says:

    He keeps screaming “family needs therapy” well….let me save you some grief here dumbass: here’s what they’ll scream at you in family therapy: SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE.

    My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens…and weasels.

  12. NOT IMPRESSED says:

    I have a sick fantasy of the entire family driving off a cliff in an old station-wagon, a la the O’Doyle family in Billy Madison.

    O’Doyle rules!
    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

    Douchechill!

  13. TheBreakdown says:

    I have an even sicker fantasy of this entire family sipping on some Jonestown Kool-Aid in a crackhouse!

    ***************************************
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  14. Jana says:

    The Lohans will always be known as the Lohans. There’s no escaping the name now. Like Prince when he tried to change his name for a symbol. He’ll always be remembered and known as Prince.
    **************************************************
    http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com – Click everyday to help animals in shelters

  15. elanenergy says:

    Submitted by johnnysgirl on Sat, 03/26/2011 – 3:44pm.
    “There’s not a blemish in my family outside of me.”

    EXACTLY, you dumb fuck! The blemish is YOU! Generations of Lohans were probably just fine and dandy until you came along and fucked it all up.

    Congratulations, shit for brains!

    _____________

    Isn’t it amazing that his fucktard has the spot on ability to name the problem: himself….and yet can’t get any miniscule kernel of self-awareness beyond that. Like family therapy is gonna solve that. He is a sub human species that family therapy doesn’t address.

    My vision of world peace: a chicken in every pot, and pot for all us chickens…and weasels.

  16. grounder says:

    “This whole family needs therapy.”

    Translation: “Someone give us a reality show.”

  17. parissucksliterally says:

    At least he admits he’s a fuckup.

    I highly doubt anyone will stop calling Lindsay by both her names.

    No one gives a shit what Ali’s last name is.

    ***********************************************
    Nothing from nothing leaves nothing
    You gotta have something, if you want to be with me
    -Billy Preston

  18. johnnysgirl says:

    Submitted by RustyHooligan on Sat, 03/26/2011 – 3:46pm.

    Very successful jobs on Wall St.? He was a floor trader for ten mostly bullish years (1980-90), then got busted for insider trading and spent three years in jail.
    ————————————————–

    HAHAHA, yeah – leave it to this deluded dumbass to bray about how Wall Street jobs = integrity.

    Say, Michael…seeing as how our economy is presently FUCKED because of skeezy, greedy, evil, slimy Wall Street types, you might want to keep that on the DL.

    JAYZUS, this family is dumb as rocks. *sigh*

    PS – DListers, please pardon my vinegar. My hormones are RAGIN!

    ………………………………………………………………………………….
    When life gives you lemons…slice ’em up, eat ’em. – Aunt Barbara http://www.youtube.com/user/AuntBarbara

  19. sybil says:

    They should make a baby together & name her Hepatitis Marie Lohan!

  20. sharoninshape says:

    Poor Lindsay, her dad is to be held responsible for a lot of her problems. He is not a great example to his children. He and Dina, I feel sorry for this family.

  21. christine the hoff says:

    Does integrity now mean, busted white trash attention starved hos? jail time serving stump jumpers? If so, he’s so right on.
    ————————————————-

    and, not a single fuck was given this day.

  22. Lucifer_Sam says:

    Damn, Bombshit McGee is twice as ugly as I remember.

  23. madam s. says:

    Ahahaha! I love the idea of Ali as a one-name star. I mean, Lindsay is funny enough, but Ali is hilarious. I mean how could it work? Surely there’s already an Ali or two at the low end strip joint where Ali is going to (or already) works.

  24. Dirk Diggler says:

    Oh yeah, Integrity. That’s the first word that comes to mind when I hear the name “Lohan.” Absolutely.

  25. christine the hoff says:

    Submitted by madam s. on Sat, 03/26/2011 – 4:49pm.

    And to boot, we’ve already had a superstar named ali,mohammed to be exact…
    ————————————————-

    and, not a single fuck was given this day.

  26. charlie m says:

    Oh God. “Our name is a name of integrity” is one of the biggest white trash saying out there. The more they fuck up and the drunker they get, the more they say it. I think they are dredging it up for some ancestor who kept a deal on a handshake or something.

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