Even In Death, Elizabeth Taylor Still Knows How To Make An Entrance

March 25, 2011 / Posted by:

Elizabeth Taylor was laid to rest in her $11,000 coffin (sadly, it’s not diamond encrusted) yesterday and she delivered one last act of glamour before everybody said their final goodbyes. A small group of Liz’s family and friends arrived at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, Calif. and waited for 15 minutes until she was carried in. Elizabeth’s rep told People that she wanted to be late to her own funeral. That’s right. A true queen of glamour always keeps her subjects waiting.

I was hoping that an army of shirtless hunks wearing pharaoh costumes carried Liz in as albino children tossed rhinestone-covered white rose petals down the aisle, but she kept things simple. La Liz’s casket was covered with gardenias, violets, and lily of the valley. Rabbi Jerry Cutler officiated the funeral which included a spot of total WTF randomness. Apparently, Elizabeth counted Colin Farrell as one of best friends forever and so he read a poem by Gerard Manley Hopkins during the service.

No farewell waltz from Kathy Ireland? No smoldering silent soliloquy from Tom Ryan? But a poem reading from COLIN FARRELL of all hos?! How did that happen? Fuck hearing about the details of how an icy fairy turned Anderson’s Cooper hair silver with the touch of a crystal wand! This is the back story I really want to hear (I don’t mean that). I bet that at the end of the funeral, Colin pulled two greasy gold rings off of his ears and gently tossed them into her coffin before saying, “These have always brought me luck.” Someone had to do it.

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