Urkel Rodman Won’t Face Charges For Beating A Window

March 23, 2011 / Posted by:

The NYPD will not investigate Chris Brown’s Hulk Smash at Good Morning America yesterday, because ABC has not filed a report and sources say they don’t plan on doing so either. Chris, whose head looks like a 10-day-old pimple on Dennis Rodman’s ass, could’ve cut a bitch walking by when he smashed a dressing room window with a chair after Robin Roberts kept asking him questions about Rihanna (which his people approved). But ABC is going to play nice by not pressing charges. No word yet if Marvel is planning to sue Chris Brown for infringing on their copyright by giving the worst Hulk impersonation ever.

TMZ says that Chris should probably be beating ABC off with his best hand, because his probation would’ve been in jeopardy and he could’ve become a prison bitch if they decided to throw charges at his ass. The judge will not declare that Chris violated his probation unless New York goes after him and they won’t.

GMA also announced that Chris Brown can come back anytime he wants. Huh? This crazy bitch murdered one of their windows and they’d still open their front door to him? Are they building a windowless padded dressing room just for him?! Are they going to keep a butt plug made of the Silver Surfer’s board in him at all times? I don’t understand. But you know who does understand? Chris’ mom, Mom Breezy. She Tweeted this shortly after he Hulked out:

about 14 hours ago via web

I’m not going to get on Mom Breezy for abusing her CAPS LOCK key when her name is not Kanye West. I’m assuming that somebody threw a chair at her CAPS LOCK key and it got stuck.

Here’s Chris smiling like he doesn’t have a care in the world while playing basketball and hanging out with his girlfriend in NYC. You know, yesterday one of my friends said that with that blonde hair, Chris looks like a Pocky Stick. Ruined my damn day. Why did my friend have to bring deliciousness into this?

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