Bruce Vilanch, who has been an Oscar writer since the beginning of time, had a few things to say about James Franco’s hosting skills when Vulture asked him about this at the opening of Priscilla Queen of the Desert last night. Bruce said that even though they exchanged jokes and ideas via e-mail for a few weeks, James didn’t show up for rehearsal until 3 days before the Oscars. Bruce blames James’ flaccid performance on the fact that he’s got a lot of balls in the air. I see what Bruce did there and I thank him for the image of James with a tea bag orgy over his head. But what Bruce really means is that James is busier than a top at a Scientology sauna.
The beautiful lesbian love child of Sally Jesse Raphael and Trash Heap went on:
“He has so many balls in the air, he didn’t get to town till Thursday before the show on Sunday. And so we e-mailed a lot. But we had a lot of meetings. He had a bunch of people who were writing for him, and if it had been him alone, it would have been different. But it was him and Anne Hathaway, and they both had to be serviced. So there was a lot of communication beforehand. But he didn’t get there.
I don’t think he realized how big a deal it is to do it until he was actually confronted with it. I think he thought he would kind of … I don’t know what he thought. I thought maybe it was a performance-art prank, and then I realized he sincerely wanted to do it. But it’s outside of those guys’ comfort zones. The only people who know how to host those shows are people who get up onstage every night and say, ‘Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. A funny thing happened … ‘ Or people like Bette [Midler] who get up and sing all night and tell stories.
No, he wasn’t high. I was with him, and he wasn’t high. And I asked him, ‘Are you high, and can I have some?’ And he said no to both.”
James Franco responded by Tweeting the message, “Bruce, he let me down,” followed by a link to this MS Paint mess above. So when you hurt James Franco’s feelings, he pulls out his MS Paint palette and jizzes out a masterpiece! I’m sure the Whitney has already picked it up.